Back On Track

Oh my, it's been a month since I last blogged on here! The month has been very busy and because of it, I haven't eaten as well as I should have and I haven't kept up my exercise. I think I got kind of discouraged because I plateaued for about 2 months and I really wanted to eat sweets. So I binged. . .for about two weeks. . .and put 3 pounds back on. Now it's winter and harder to exercise, I am not making it a priority, and I feel like I'm right back to where I was just before I started this whole deal. I want to do the right thing and eat healthily and lose weight but it isn't fun or interesting, it's more of a chore.

So here we are. Trying to get back on track and trying to figure out how to do it without getting bored!

Not Such A Great Day

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm addicted to sugar. And today wasn't a good day, so I splurged, treated myself, binged, comforted myself with chocolate. I was frustrated because the last three days my weight has wiggled about more than a caterpillar in spring and this morning it had gone up. A whole pound. After being so careful to eat right and exercise and count my calories. I tried not to think about it during the day, but by the time I turned on Top Model, I was reaching for the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (sorry sister, I'll buy you two more packets when you come!). This was after I had had a caramel and chocolate covered macadamia at lunch, a handful of trail mix as a mid-afternoon snack, and a handful of white chocolate chips with my supper. I know, serious overdose.

I did manage to keep it to 3 PB cups and 4 Maltezers, so it wasn't toooooooo bad. But I felt kinda depressed as I walked home, thinking about how all that exercise I did today went for nothing, since I ate it away in about 3 seconds. What a waste!

Two things. 1: what can I do when the scales go up and I feel depressed? 2: how can I prevent this from happening again?

I'll answer #2 first. I think the trick is to allow for 1 snack a day that I can choose what I want it to be. I am burning enough calories with my 90 minutes of daily exercise that I can afford a 150-calorie snack. I will also brush my teeth right after supper. I absolutely hate brushing my teeth (all who agree, please raise your right hand!) and if I do it right after supper, I won't be as tempted to snack more because then I would have to brush them all over again!

#1? I should buy only one junk food at a time. I need to decide on a comfort food that I can eat handfuls of and not feel guilty about because it's low calorie. My snack food of choice right now is buttered popcorn flavoured rice cakes.  I need to affirm myself when the scales go up and choose to think positive thoughts, to recognize that I am feeling healthier, and to look at the trend of my weight, give it a week, and see if it's gone down.

Let's see how it goes!

Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall

This week I managed to come down with a miserable head cold, the first of the season. But one reason I am grateful for colds is that they give you a kick start to losing several pounds at once. (Am still trying to figure out how to keep those pounds off once you start eating again!!!) So the scales obliged, and I was pleased, but I think it's a bit of everything this week. I've started doing a bit of exercise in the evening as well and now I'm trying to cook up a large soup in my slow cooker on Sundays for supper during the week.

I'm really quite pleased at how it is working out, especially since just six months ago the very thought of daily exercise was about as exciting as eating boiled eggplant with no seasoning. Simply put, my sleep was a bigger priority than my health. Now I've switched it up and have made my morning exercise a priority. Even if I only get 6.5 hours of sleep at night, I still drag myself out of bed at 6 am, lace up my clunky hiking boots, and hit that cement path for an hour. It might take twenty minutes for my eyes to open fully, but that's okay. I can stumble about the loop easily enough!

I guess I've just made my morning exercise a part of my daily routine. It is as regular as drinking my morning water, brushing my teeth, and combing my hair. It is just something that has to be done, whether I like it or not, and so I do it. But I only require myself to go 5 days a week. Perhaps it isn't the best plan in the world, but the weekend is my time off. I can relax a little, have some sweet treats, and get my exercise from 8-hour marathons when I go grocery shopping!

It is a slow and tedious process. . .this whole trying to be a healthier person journey. But today I looked in the mirror, and those stretch marks were starting to fade, and I could see my waist again, and I was excited! I think I'm finally finding me again. I just wonder why it took so long?

Losing It All

So. . .I'm back to the "no desserts, except on Sabbaths and special occasions." Those special occasions are birthdays, weddings, baby showers, and other such like events. They do not include any of the following: good days, bad days, days when it's sunny, days when it rains, stressful days, frustrating days, or days when I want to eat sugar (which is most any day).

Did I write about my most recent absolutely awesome and amazing discovery? I couldn't believe it myself, when I found it on the shelves in Whole Foods, but it was real. Vegenaise made from flaxseed oil. It's packed with omega 3's and best of all. . . .drum roll. . . .it only has 45 calories per tablespoon! I have absolutely no idea how they managed to make such a great tasting vegenaise with only 45 calories per serving, but I'm not asking! (and I'm also hoping it's not a typo on the label!) Now I can enjoy all my favourite combinations of salty sandwiches without worrying about the calories. My other favourite spread, with jam on a Ryvita cracker, is Tofutti sour cream. That is only 40 calories per tablespoon and it is absolutely delicious.

I've started doing some exercise in the evening as well. After a friend came to visit and I enjoyed a week of no food restrictions and no regular exercise, I put on about 3 pounds. I was rather disappointed in myself (but still unregretful that I ate such lovely food!) and decided to get back on board with my lifestyle change plan. Despite several painful blisters and sore leg and hip muscles, I still managed to walk the 6 rounds each morning this week. I even did two evenings of walking as well! During the day, I hobbled about in the office, but somehow I managed to battle through the discomfort and with cotton wool and Johnson & Johnson plasters, I bandaged up the blisters and charged about the loop at 6 am each day.

The scales are going back down again, ever so slowly. Sometimes I get really frustrated, especially when I think about how I've been trying to live healthy and exercise and eat right and I can only see incremental changes on those digital scales. But then I think about how I really do want to lose weight and feel better about myself and my body, and how everything that is worth something comes with much effort, and I take a second (or third or fourth!) look at my goal and set off, one painful step at a time, towards those elusive numbers on the scales.

I wonder if, when I reach those numbers, I will feel like I have made it? I know I will be excited, as I reach my first, then second, and finally my final weight-loss goal. I hope that I don't get so relaxed that I decide to revert to old eating habits and pack on all the pounds again. It would really be sad if that happened; all that hard work for nothing. But somehow I think it won't. I think I know now why it takes so long to properly lose weight. It's because it isn't just about the physical weight. It's about the emotional, the mental, and the spiritual weight as well.

As I continue on this journey to complete wholeness, I recognize that I am slowly shedding old habits along the way, like a snake wriggles out of his winter skin or a butterfly struggles to free itself from the cocoon. For example, I used to think that it didn't matter what I put in my body, what mattered was what felt good on the tongue and gave me that sugar high I so badly craved. Now, when I pick up something in the grocery store and start to read a list of ingredients longer than my shopping list for the month, I put it right back on the shelf. I don't want all those chemicals going into my body! However, I will also admit that this too, is a journey of learning. I haven't quite relinquished my hold on certain foods that I know are more harmful than helpful to my body, but I'm working on that.

I used to think that eating healthy was boring and took too much time and effort. I thought that I had to eat the exact same thing every day, that oatmeal was the only healthy breakfast food, and that any kind of fat was prohibited. I've learned that eating healthy can often be quicker, cheaper, and more fun than grabbing junk food to snack on. I enjoy being creative and love cooking, so I experiment with different recipes to find things that I like to eat. Since I hate oatmeal, I eat bread for breakfast. Fats in a moderate amount are good and healthy and keep me from binging. (still working on the moderate part!)

I was addicted to food. Vegenaise, brownie bites, cheese pizza, sour cream potato chips, Reese's peanut butter cups, and cheddar cheese were some of my favourite foods. When I reached for the food and stuffed it in my mouth, I felt better inside. I knew that I was eating too much, that it wasn't healthy for me, and that I would probably feel uncomfortably full and lethargic after I ate, but I didn't care. I just reached for the next handful of potato chips. I would alternate sweet and salty so I could eat more. I would stay up late so I could have a 4th meal. An entire meal could consist of cheddar cheese sticks dipped in vegenaise, accompanied by brownie bites slathered in chocolate frosting. Even as I type this, my mouth is watering and I am wishing I could eat those foods right now. But I recognize that it wasn't healthy and that my emotional connection to the food was stronger than my need to be physically fed.

The spiritual weight loss is probably the hardest of all. For a great portion of my mid to late teen years and early twenties, I was under the conviction that I had to be perfect in all things for God to fully love me and reward me with the things He gave everyone else, who was already perfect. I will be the first to admit that this is false reasoning and that I still struggle with trying to live up a certain standard that I feel I will never reach, even with God's help. One of the most important areas I had to be perfect in was my weight.

Of course, many women struggle with their weight, so it's not a novel story. However, I just knew that I was disappointing God because I couldn't get ahold of my food addiction. He didn't approve of my behaviour and so He went off and left me, with my hand deep in the cookie jar. I felt like I let Him down and like I could never be good enough for Him to love me. If I was only my perfect weight, as determined by the weight charts in every health book I'd ever read, then I would have achieved it and I would make Him happy.

I'm learning now that God loves me for who I am. I'm almost afraid to say it; I feel like maybe I should whisper it. Because aren't we taught all our lives that "God loves you as you are, but He loves you too much to leave you there," and therefore we can draw the conclusion that while God may love me, He will love me only until I recognize that I need to change, and then His love will be conditional upon my changing? I know this too is false reasoning, and yet, somehow it seems to make perfect sense. If I don't do what I know I should be doing, again, God will have to withdraw His love from me until I have gotten my act together, right?

Wrong. God loves me whether I weigh 450 pounds or 150 pounds. His love is unconditional, everlasting, and deeper and wider than I can even fathom. He wants what is best for me, and being a healthy weight is what is best for me, but even as I struggle my way towards that, He is cheering me on, excited to see the progress I have made. He loves me even when I eat that extra slice of cheesecake, even when I have a snack that turns into a meal just before I go to bed, even when I skip my morning exercise, and even when I give up and decide to just eat for 3 days straight. God loves me because He is love. Not because I'm perfect. (because I'm not)

It's a journey. Most of the journey is walked with weary steps but ultimately, what counts is that those steps are taken. And one day, the results shall be seen.

And There Were Lessons Learned

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm terrified to step on the scales tomorrow. I took an entire week off and had a "vacation" and now I'm worried that I've put on 5 pounds. Let's see, that would be an excess of 17,500 calories over 7 days would be an additional 2,500 calories each day. A total of 4,300 calories a day (I'm currently burning about 1,800 daily, according to calorie-count.com). Hmmm, I could be dangerously close, what with the snacks, sweets, cheese and fried foods.

I learned several things this last week. I learned that I feel much better when I have regular meal times and portion control. If I skip breakfast, I eat more calories at the other two meals and usually end being so hungry that nothing seems to fill my stomach. I learned that if you don't eat something for a really long time, you won't crave it and you won't miss it. Until you start eating it again. I learned that sugar never fills you up, never satisfies you, and you never stop craving it. I also learned that I just can't have snack food in my house because I don't do portion control when it comes to snacks. I just want to eat. And eat and eat and eat.

Tomorrow I will get back on the band wagon of eating heathily and exercising regularly. I'm looking forward to it, even though waking up a full hour before the sun and most sane people are awake isn't exactly my cup of tea! My goal? To be serious about eating right and hopefully lose some weight along the way. I'm proud to say I finally made a vegetable soup in my nifty slow cooker this afternoon, so I have my suppers set for this week. Now if only I can eat the soup and not half my fridge for supper, I'll be okay!

Top 'O the Charts

So I lost some weight and I was happy. Until I hit a plateau. A plateau that I've been dancing about and see-sawing up and down on for about a month now. At first I blamed the food I was eating, water retention, too much salt, eating too late at night, etc. Then I decided I just needed to be patient, not weigh or record my weight every day, and that eventually the weight would just drop off.

Meanwhile, I was enjoying eating a little more (after all, I was walking 3 miles a day now!) and having some sweet things and a few more snacks.

I realized something the other day. I realized that while I originally thought it was all a mindset and I just needed to think positive, yes, it was "all in my mind" but not the way I thought it was. What I needed to change was my thinking.

See, when I reached my first weight loss goal, my mental tape immediately switched from "I can do this, if I am very careful about what I eat and exercise enough, I can lose weight and be healthy and make it to my weight loss goals," to "I've reached it! Now I can relax a little and the rest will come off much easier than the first." While originally I viewed my very first weigh-in as my highest weight ever and I had to get serious about changing my lifestyle so I didn't have serious health problems, now I was looking at the numbers on the scales and thinking they weren't so bad after all.

What I needed to do, though, was to look at my new set of numbers and mentally move them to the top of my weight chart. My new weight should now be my highest weight and I need to work just as hard to make it to my next weight loss goal. And when I reach that goal, I need to change the numbers again.

Losing weight isn't easy. Neither is making healthy food choices, exercising daily, drinking enough water, getting sufficient sleep, or stocking up on healthy sunshine. I think the hardest part of it all, though, is having trust in God that it is possible to lose weight and become a healthier person. So that's what I'm working on. That, and getting back on track with making positive choices. Here's to the next two months, and here's to reaching my next goal!

No Organic for Me, Thank You!

I'm all for organic, don't get me wrong from the title of tonight's blog! I'm just not for organic bugs. Or organic mealy vegetables. That is not my idea of tasty organic delights!

Where I live, there is a lovely big farm that supplies food to the cafeteria, and since the farm manager just left, we got a memo saying that everyone was welcome to pick what they liked for 50 cents a pound. Now my mom and I can never pass up a deal, especially when you can get organic vegetables for 50 cents a pound! So about thirty minutes before sundown, we began to tromp our way down the rows, trying to decide what to harvest.

There was only one problem. We had no idea what we were looking at! We could recognize the tomatoes (which was one of the few items that were not available to everyone), the corn and the squash, but everything else looked rather foreign. The most experience I ever had with a garden was helping my Opa with his little plot and picking berries from my aunt's tiny patch. And that was years ago!

We finally decided that a particular bunch of red leafy tops were beet greens. We busied ourselves trying to dig down to the beet, but the one that was on the end of the largest beet top was about the size of a marble. A very small marble. Unsuccessful in locating the beets, we harvested the beet tops and carried on. I pulled up some red lettuce and carefully placed it in a plastic bag.

A little further on, we came across a trellis with vines all over it. Really long beans grew all along, none of them smaller than 12 inches and most of them quite a bit longer. After we picked about 10, we decided we had the equivalent of 60 regular beans, and moved on to the next patch of green. We found row after row of squash, our least favourite vegetable, but finally, in the fast fading light, we came across a real treasure trove. Parsley, spring onions, and bell peppers clustered together, standing green and fresh in the rich dirt. We picked to our hearts' content and ended up grabbing three large leaves of kale. After weighing the two plastic bags and depositing our dollar and twenty-five cents in the money box, we headed home with our treasures.

Then the real adventure began. As a naive city girl, I happily swished the kale leaves about under the running sink and then placed them on the cutting board, ready to chop it into pieces to add to the already-steaming green beans on the stove. Thankfully I took a closer look. On the large vivid green leaf, I saw fat little bodies of a translucent colour sitting in clumps and hiding on the edges. Peering even closer, I realized that these were not drops of water that had yet to be shaken off, as these bodies all had teeny hairy legs! They were most definitely bodies of the aphid nature!

I hurriedly stuck the leaves in a huge bowl of water, added salt, and waited. About 15 minutes later, I was able to use two of the three leaves, after carefully inspecting for all live creatures and finding only one or two that I was able to remove. I added the final vegetables to the pot and put the lid back on.

Minutes later, the vegetables started to burn. After hastily transferring them to a second pot and adding fresh water, I tasted the green beans. They were very mealy and floury and extremely unappetizing. I ended up spending at least 10 minutes picking out all the green beans, along with the potato cubes I'd thrown in earlier from the raw potato we'd put in a very salty carrot soup at lunch to absorb the extra salt. (Note: it really does work, even with a raw potato, and those potato cubes became extremely salty. Also, if the recipe calls for 20 oz of broth, it's probably best not to use 30+ oz of broth and SALT TO TASTE on top!!!)

Suffice to say, at the end of about 2 hours of effort, I found myself with a small plastic box that contained a rather sorry looking mess of steamed parsley, spring onions, beet greens, and kale. I'm not sure it was worth all that time and energy! I'm also very grateful for grocery stores that carry already-washed produce!

Next time, we'll try the farmer's market. It may be pricier, but I'm hoping there's less bugs!

A Bit of a Sweet Tooth

Today I enjoyed a very nice, very large, piece of homemade cherry pie with whipped soy cream on top. It was about 500 calories, in addition to my lunch, but I am not feeling guilty about it! (or maybe I am, since I feel the need to blog about it) I am learning, however, that I don't need to be legalistic about eating sweets. So while I shall continue to make it a habit not to eat sweets during the week, if I should go out to eat, or it's a special occasion, I shall enjoy my dessert.

I Choose

Okay, the weight is not dropping off me like I had hoped it would. Even though I'm walking an hour or so every morning! While being slightly frustrated (very frustrated), I am trying to be grateful that at least I'm not putting on weight. And that I don't have to lose over a hundred pounds like many who are trying to lose weight have to. And that I can see a difference in pictures I took several months ago. And that I am eating healthier and being more aware of my body.

Today I decided that I am not going to stock my cupboards with salty snacks, either. I have cut out desserts, except on Sabbath and birthdays. I have cut out sweet snacks, but now I need to work on the salty snacks. Having a snack isn't the problem, what is my problem is that I create a meal out of snacks, and it's usually my supper meal. Of course that is the worst meal of the day to be eating 700 calories worth of salty snacks like crackers, Indian Bombay trail mix, and potato chips. I have a bit of a sweet tooth, but my salty tooth is about as strong!

The exciting part is that I am not craving sweets anymore. I have been experimenting with different fruits (this week I bought grapes, cantaloupe, bananas, and bartlett pears) and I try to be sure I eat at least one serving of fruit a day. It is easier to be satisfied with a single serving or two of dessert, now that my body doesn't crave it like it used to. I'm hoping the same thing will hapen with the salty foods.

I am still working on finding a quick, easy, and cheap alternative salty spread for my sandwiches. Babaganoush is my spread of choice right now (just bought two eggplants that I plan to bake and prepare this weekend) but again, it is time consuming!

I was looking at different foods in the grocery stores today, and realized as I picked up the various brightly coloured packages that I really am becoming more discriminating in what I choose to put into my body. I am choosing to keep my dairy and egg consumption to a minimum, eating vegan at home for the majority (I did buy some organic, free-ranging, cage-free, 100% vegetarian diet, eggs today!). I am choosing not to buy foods that have an ingredient list longer than my shopping list and that includes unpronounceable names. I am choosing to stay away from the preservatives, the colourings, and the artificial flavourings as much as I can.

My personal philosophy towards food is being created as I go along, but it includes some of the following:

• I choose to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables each day
• I choose to eat till I am full and not till I'm stuffed
• I choose to make healthy selections when I'm food-shopping
• I choose to reach for the whole grains as much as possible (still working on this one!)
• I choose to stock my shelves and refrigerators with foods that are good for me

A Mile or Two

Losing weight is really hard! Really!

Okay, I admit it, I had joined the ranks of those who resolutely pressed on, making firm decisions in their minds that they were going to lose weight, giving up dessert once a month, walking from their car to work and the grocery store and feeling pleased that they had exercised that day, reading up articles on how to eat right and exercise right and be positive about losing weight. I was all psyched up, for at least 3 years.

Then I went through a phase where I began to make slow changes. I alternated between exercising for a couple of weeks at a time, then eating better for the next couple of weeks, hoping I could find that magic key that would unlock the secret for me to lose weight effortlessly. I would then be able to write a bestseller that every woman would buy. No such luck, though.

Then one day I woke up and decided that today, I was going to make a change. It was my 30th birthday and I was tired of being overweight, of watching the scales and my BMI creep up towards the 200 pound mark (thankfully I never made it that high!). I was tired of trying to find something in my closet that still fit, a skirt that I could button if I held my breath, and an XL blouse that could hide my stomach. I was tired of being out of breath when I walked up a hill or when I bent over to try to tie my shoes. I was tired of looking in the mirror and knowing that the real me, the person I knew deep inside, was not the person I saw reflected there.

The next morning, I began to walk. My patient mother and I woke up every week morning and hit the cement to walk 2 miles. At first, it wasn't easy. While she had a few pounds she wanted to lose, I needed to lose at least 30 pounds to return to a healthy weight and there was a monster hill we had to tackle on our route. My mother effortlessly sailed to the top at a brisk rate while I panted and struggled behind, grumbling and feeling rather irritated that I was so out of shape. Yet we carried on.

Every morning, Monday through Friday, we went walking. It took us about 40 minutes to do the 2 miles at first, but we soon worked up to about 35 minutes a day. I was feeling really good about myself until I went to see my doctor for a routine check up. She asked me the usual questions about my lifestyle and then said, "Do you exercise?" "Yes," I replied, "35 minutes a day five times a week." She affirmed my choice to exercise regularly, then said, "You do know, don't you, that they recommend 60 to 90 minutes a day for weight loss? I'm sure you'll work up to that eventually." I groaned inwardly, not happy about the thought of waking up earlier than I was already. But she got me thinking.

The next week, we set our alarms for 15 minutes early and set out to walk 3 miles a morning. It is the end of our second week now and I'm pleased to report that we are now averaging 16-minute miles and I have started walking 3.5 miles each morning when I'm able to so I can exercise about an hour. My goal is to work up to 15-minute miles so I can be walking 4 miles each morning and I'm confident that we will reach that goal. And that tricky hill? I'm still out of breath when I reach the top, but I'm sailing up it as fast as my mother now!

Recipe: Stuffed Curry

I always say that coconut milk covers a multitude of sins. You can add it to a simple pot of boiled vegetables and they will have instant flavour and taste that weren't there before. This recipe is a version of the different types of curry I make once a week or so. No curry is ever the same!

   1 large sweet onion, diced
   Olive oil to fry
   Dash of cayenne pepper
   Salt to taste
   Sprinkles of curry powder, turmeric, cumin, and coriander
   9 medium red potatoes, cut half cross-wise, then in quarters
   3 medium carrots, diced
   Sausage water or broth   5-7 garlic cloves, sliced
   1/2 cauliflower head, cut into florets
   1 medium yellow squash, sliced
   1 tub of extra firm tofu (I like the Trader Joe's brand), large cubes
   4 Big Franks, sliced
   1 tin coconut milk (Thai Kitchen or Natural Value)

Fry the onion in the olive oil for about 5 minutes, stirring constantly, until it is translucent. Add the spices and salt, stir well, then add the potatoes and carrots. Stir well for about a minute, add broth (I used the water from the Big Franks tin), place a lid and simmer on high until the potatoes are about 5-7 minutes from being cooked. Add the cauliflower florets, the squash, the tofu cubes, and the Big Franks. Simmer with the lid off (to reduce the liquid) until the potatoes are done. The cauliflower should not be mushy. Turn the heat off and add the coconut milk. Stir thoroughly. Serve with white basmati rice.

Recipe: Dill & Black Olive Spread

Here's a really simple recipe that works well with firm tofu that you buy at the grocery store (not Mori-Nu). The seasonings can be changed up to adapt to your tastebuds and preference. Measurements are given as approximations.

   1 vacuum packed firm tofu
   Nutritional Yeast, 1 T
   Black olives, half a can
   Dill weed, 1 t
   "Chiken" seasoning, 2 T
   Apple cider vinegar, 1 t
   Garlic powder, 1 t
   Olive oil, 2 T

Place the tofu in a cuisinart or blender. Add seasonings and blend well, scraping the sides to get everything in. Add olive oil in a slow dribble. Season to taste. Serve as a spread on crackers or toast. You can also thin it with extra olive oil and lemon juice and serve as a dip with raw veggies.

A Goal Post

Well, even though the scales struggle to register any significant changes, and even though I know I have a long way to go to reach my goals, I am still excited that I am living a healthier life now. It's really quite ironic. For years I was this on-again-off-again type of person, knowing that I needed to exercise and eat properly and yet doing the exact opposite. I remember weeks when I would literally have a stash of junk food in my bedroom and I would steadily work my way through the items, alternating sweet and salty so the "high" would last longer. I had a box of brownie bites once and finished it in less than a week. All 48 bites. I shudder to think of the calories and the coating of my arteries!

When I entered the store, whether it was Walmart or a grocery store, I would pull processed foods off the shelves and place them directly into my grocery cart without a second thought about what I had just done. I would pretty much zone out, grabbing everything that "looked good" and was filled with fat, sugar and grease, while meanwhile muttering to myself that "I deserved it." Well, I didn't. What I deserved was something completely different.

What I deserved was health. Real health.

Now I eat at least two servings of fruit a day whereas before, I would count myself lucky if I had two fruit in a month. I eat plenty of raw vegetables with my sandwiches and at lunchtime, along with lots of cooked leafy green vegetables. We eat cooked beets in a delicious cold salad that includes layers of shredded potatoes and carrots, along with fried onions, all covered with a thick layer of vegenaise. I indulge in a dessert once a week and appease my sweet tooth with fruit or a slice of toast with honey and vegan cream cheese on other days. I'm doing my best to eat as many whole grains as possible (I'm probably at about 50/50 right now). I exercise for about an hour early in the morning, five times a week. Religiously. Even if I only slept 6 hours the night before. (my eyes are usually opening after I've finished the first mile and a half!)

Of course there are many ways I can still improve and am working on. I need to incorporate some sort of strength training or interval training into my exercise routine. I need to cut down on my salt intake and experiment with other seasoning ingredients. I need to prioritize my sleep. I need to remember that one serving is enough, or two small servings, but not two large ones.

I am also struggling with the meals and the timing aspect of it. I eat breakfast at 7:15, lunch at 12:15, and supper at 6. I am usually not as hungry at breakfast or lunch but between 4:30 and 6, I am ravenous. Which means I end up eating too much at supper and then suffering from a very full stomach. Not a good idea late at night! I really really don't want to snack, though, and water doesn't do the trick either. So I shall just have to keep experimenting, to see whether it is only time for my stomach to adjust, or whether I should have a little more fat earlier in the day when I don't feel like eating as much (ie. a spoonful of peanut butter).

Just Another Mile

I did it!!! I made it through a whole month with desserts only once a week! Today I start my second month of doing it all over again. If you don't think about it, and eat lots of fresh fruit and some crackers with honey on them, it really isn't that hard!

Yesterday I started walking 3 miles in the morning, for about an hour a day, five times a week. I'm super excited and now I look forward to stepping on those scales, bright and early, as I'm pretty sure that this extra push will be just what I need to sail on down the road of healthiness. (Hmmm, is that even a word?)

Throw Everything Out the Window, including the Diet Book

I have discovered the secret to weight loss. It includes late nights & little sleep, 200-calorie breakfasts, stress eating, snacking on Pringles, no exercise, and meals at 10:30 at night. This is guaranteed to help you drop over two pounds in one week.

Okay, maybe it isn't such a good idea after all. I think what happened is that my body hit a plateau, where I hovered for about two weeks, and it went up and down like a needle charting someone's heart-beat, but never quite managing to break the trend and keep on going down. Then I hit a stress week and everything went out the window. I wasn't eating right, sleeping enough, exercising properly, or tracking my weight loss. One thing I am proud to say, however, is that I did not snack on sweet things or high-fat foods (such as Cheddar cheese). I reached for the carbs and consoled myself with foods I had available in my cupboards, most of which were healthy options. Something shook up my metabolism and the scales registered it this morning!

I do hereby commit, however, to return to my healthy weight-loss plan that includes a proper breakfast, plenty of fruit and vegetables, vigorous daily exercise, and enough shut-eye to keep me happy. I am also pleased to report that tomorrow I will have completed an entire month of no-desserts-except-on-Sabbath! It wasn't easy, but it was definitely worth it. After buying that 7th Heaven DVD I've been wanting, I shall begin the next month of no-desserts-except-on-Sabbath and begin to work on my vegenaise addiction next. Hmmm, what shall I save up for this time?

Eat Your Fruits and Veggies Now. . .

Fruits, fruits, fruits. Veggies, veggies, veggies. That is the real trick and key to successful weight loss. I didn't really believe it before, but now that I'm starting to see the results on the scales, I'm excited that what I'm doing must be the right thing!

It really isn't that hard to include more fruits and vegetables in your daily meal plan. The important thing, though, is to find what works for you. I used to think that I had to eat apples, oranges, and tomatoes on a regular basis. I really don't like apples because I feel stuffed after a half an apple, I don't like the time I have to waste on getting an orange ready to eat, and tomatoes go bad on me way too fast. I stick them in the fridge and three days later there's mold all over all the other vegetables!

So while I dutifully bought the fruits and vegetables I didn't like to eat, bringing them home to sit in my fridge until they turned bad and I could finally throw them out, I wondered how I could find something that worked for me. Then the berry season began and I discovered blueberries. And cherries. And grape tomatoes.

My fruits and veggies shopping list looks quite different now that I have done some experimenting and thrown away bags of rotten produce! I'm not spending a significant portion of my budget on junk food, so I invest it in my health by buying quality fruits and vegetables that I enjoy eating. Here's a look at my staples, along with some favourites I pick up on a less regular basis.

• Blueberries
• Cherries
• Grape tomatoes
• English cucumbers
• Green bell peppers, red & orange & yellow only if they're on sale
• Baby spinach, bagged & pre-washed (every now and then)
• Arugula, bagged & pre-washed (every now and then)
• Bananas (every now and then)

I have learned that I prefer to buy produce that is easy to eat. I like something with a crunch and crispiness to it, but I don't like eating waxy produce (ie. the apples). Green leaves are great to stuff in a sandwich while grape tomatoes and bell peppers make for a lovely accompaniment. With each bowl of cereal I throw in a handful of blueberries, and often I begin supper with a bowlful of cherries. I make eating produce fun and I make it a major part of my meal.

Sometimes I worry that I am not getting all the nutrients I need because I have a smaller selection of fruits and vegetables. However, the list above is simply what I eat for breakfast and supper. For lunch I have a healthy portion of vegetables and usually a large green salad, so I stock up on the other items mid-day. I'm grateful I've found what works for me and I'm super excited because I know I'm eating a whole lot more fruit and vegetables than I used to. And I'm lovin' it!

A Sweet Fast

I'm trying something. No sweets (that means desserts) for the next 3 weeks except on Sabbaths. I figure it takes about 3 weeks to form a new habit, so that's why I picked that time frame. I've just finished the first day and all I've been thinking about is desserts. Dessert for breakfast, dessert for lunch, and dessert for supper. Or maybe dessert for an afternoon snack. A bowlful of blueberries did not help!

I am planning to reward myself once I finish the 3 weeks. If I am successful, I shall buy the next season of my favourite DVD series (7th Heaven) and treat myself with that.

Once I've conquered the sweets craving, I shall work on my Vegenaise craving. I think that's a lost cause, but at 90 calories a tablespoon, I really have to find a way to cut down and replace! I found an expensive tahini sauce at Trader Joe's which I'm going to try to replicate at home. The main ingredients are tahini, lemon juice, water and citric acid.

A Cookie, Anyone?

Okay, I admit it, I just ate a giant chocolate chip cookie. At 9:30 at night. But it was really really delicious! I'm still debating whether I should have stuck with a handful of blueberries or eaten the cookie earlier. Oh well, tomorrow is another day!

I've been having fun experimenting with favourite foods to find healthy options. Most recently I've gone 90% vegan (I'm not buying any cheddar cheese anymore, sniff!) and am now working on finding the healthier vegan options. A person can be vegan and still put on weight!

Here are a few of my favourite foods:

• Fresh blueberries
• A cup of Kashi-Go-Lean cereal with fruit sauce
• Half a rosemary baguette from Trader Joe's with vegenaise and fresh arugula
• Handfuls of grape tomatoes with any salty sandwich I eat
• Pimento-stuffed olives (4 are only 25 calories and add a tasty flavour to sandwiches)
• English cucumbers, sliced thin, on pita bread
• Bread and butter pickles, on any salty sandwich
• Acai smoothie at Jamba Juice
• Tofurky, the smoked flavour, on a sandwich
• Green bell peppers (just wash, core, and munch away with a sandwich!)

Time Out

Like countless others, I've been struggling with my weight for several years now. Sometimes I think the struggle is more in my mind, but of course that translates to inhaling thousands of calories where there should only be hundreds. I'm not sure exactly what happened, as pounds packed on in a rapid amount of time and then absolutely refused to disappear. Like countless others, I have tried countless diets and "change of lifestyles" with different types of exercise. Yet nothing seems to work, neither to make a significant enough impact that I feel energized to continue doing it. I could blame my genes, my underactive thyroid, my stress level, or my hectic lifestyle. Blaming won't help much, though.

What is the magic key? Is there one? There are a multitude of books available that will tell you to change something: your lifestyle, your type of exercise, your negative self-talk, your perception of yourself, your environment, your stress level, your way of eating, your source of support. Yet to wade through all the material and know exactly which one to adopt, or to try to do everything, seems to be impossible. I'm a die-hard optimistic and am always trying something new. On the other hand, I am starting to feel like the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, as Albert Einstein so aptly put it.

I think one piece of the puzzle is one I hadn't fully comprehended until my summer vacation this year. I set off mid-May, fully intending to spend most of my time reading and writing and rejuvenating. I found myself well into the three weeks of holiday, realizing that I would only have about three days where I didn't have something already planned. Every day was busily booked with traveling, shopping, spending time with family and friends, and business. And yet, in the midst of all this hubbub, I did find some time for me. I had hours of time to read and worked through about 10 books. I started (and finished!) a cross-stitch I'd kept in my arts and crafts drawer for several years. I slept in most mornings till after 10 am (most of the time I had a hard time getting to sleep at night, with jet lag and narrow hard European beds!). I stood on the balcony in the cool night air and looked at the town of Apeldoorn with its bits of street lights keeping the dark awake. I sat in my mother's best friend's garden in the early summer sun, unusually hot for that time of year. I journalled and blogged and wrote long epistles to my family, finding the humour in my experiences.

What I'm trying to say is that I spent time on me and it was time well deserved. As I settle back into the usual routine of life, work and all that, I remember those moments and I want to grasp as many of them as I can. Today I invested time in cleaning up my tiny studio apartment, washing my dishes and cleaning my bathroom and tidying up so that I have a deep peace of mind as I look around my place. I'm pleased that I was able to accomplish so much and I did it all for me (and in case anyone stops by!).

I've always heard that you should lose weight for yourself, but struggled to understand that fully until now. I think maybe, after all, it's okay to stop and take time for me. To set aside time in the morning so I can prepare a healthy breakfast. To be conscious of what I'm eating for supper instead of zoning out while I watch TV. To invest in exercise and embrace the adrenaline that only comes after several rounds of walking or a couple of miles with Leslie Sansone.

The next part of the journey is understanding what it means and putting it into practice.

A Few Easy Tips

Oh dear, it's been more than a month since I've blogged on here! I had all kinds of good intentions, of course, but you know how those go. I do have a few tricks I'd like to share, though, that I'm trying to incorporate into my healthy weight journey.

Drink lots of water. It helps with not snacking if you keep hydrated. Often, when I find myself cranky or hungry, I know it's because I've skipped drinking some of my water for the day and I find myself reaching for the carbs or the grease when I know that water is all I need to make me happy again. I like to drink on a schedule. 16 oz before breakfast, 16 oz before lunch, 16 oz in the afternoon, and 16 oz in the early evening. You can also switch the early evening water to mid-morning if you prefer. 16 oz sounds like a lot, but if you buy one of those tall glasses at Walmart, you'll find it's quite easy to down the water in one go.

Find a favourite low-calorie snack and stock up on it. I know that sounds like it would defeat the purpose if you stock up on a snack, but I'm finding that it actually works the opposite. For the emotional eaters, like me, we tend to go into starvation mode anytime we're not eating. We have an unhealthy connection with food and we feel like if we have only one bar of chocolate, we have to eat it all at once. Don't ask me to explain why, because I have no clue. If, however, we have 10 bars of chocolate in the fridge, we feel more at ease and it is easier to eat just a half bar of chocolate, or even a couple of pieces. There's more chocolate for later so we can relax. This isn't a joke, I've actually experienced it with the 14 tubs of Purely Decadent icecream I brought home from Grocery Outlet. That was several months ago and we're still eating that icecream! For me, my low calorie snack is the baked Snapea Crisps I can buy for $1.49 at Trader Joe's. They are super tasty and if I feel the need to binge on a bag, it's only 450 calories. A bag of any other snack would be 1,000 calories minimum.

Don't buy things you know you shouldn't eat. I know, it sounds redundant, but you seriously have to get serious about it. Food is like any other addiction, if you have access to your addiction of choice you will not be able to keep strong boundaries. If I have a box of croissants in my kitchen, I'm not going to eat a half a croissant every morning for the next two weeks. I'm going to eat those croissants in three or four days. Chocolate? Gone. Baked goods? Gone. Potato Chips? Gone. I'll be the first to admit, this is a battle I am constantly battling against. Every time I step into a store, my eyes and stomach reach immediately for the grease-sugar laden goodies. Unfortunately, we need food to survive so I am working on that happy medium where I can enjoy what I eat but not have to put on 20 pounds while I'm enjoying it or feel like my meals consist of sawdust and boiled carrots!

Recipe: Spinache

A simple mushroom spinach quiche I just whipped this up this afternoon. 

   1 tub extra-firm tofu (preferably Trader Joe's)
   1/3 cup cornstarch
   Seasoning to taste (eg. Bill's Best chiknish)
   Salt to taste
   1 cup unsweetened soymilk

   3/4 large onion, diced
   4 cloves garlic, chopped
   9 fresh mushrooms, sliced

   1 bag of fresh spinach, washed

Blend the first five ingredients till smooth. Fry the next three ingredients till soft in a pan large enough to add the tofu mixture and the spinach. Add the tofu mixture and mix in, then stir in the spinach. Keep stirring constantly with heat on high until the spinach wilts. Pour into two wholewheat pre-made frozen pie crusts, pop into a pre-heated oven at 350, and bake for 35 minutes. Serve with gravy and mashed potatoes.

Recipe: Vegan Indhai Curry

The name of this recipe is a play on words, taking influences from both Indian and Thai cuisine, to create a delicious vegan curry that tastes great for a Sabbath lunch with rice, a tomato salad, and grape juice.

   1 large onion, diced or chopped
   3 cloves fresh garlic, diced
   Extra-virgin olive oil
   1 block extra firm tofu, cubed
   Curry powder
   Cinnamon
   Ginger
   Turmeric

   1/4 head green cabbage, shredded
   1 zucchini, thinly sliced
   1/2 head cauliflower
   Extra-virgin olive oil
   Salt to taste

   1 tin coconut milk (Thai Kitchen, regular)
   Fresh cilantro, chopped


Fry the onion and garlic in the olive oil for a couple of minutes, add the tofu and the spices and fry for several more minutes. Place in a bowl and put to the side. Fry the vegetables in olive oil until the cabbage is beginning to wilt and the zucchini is soft. Salt to taste and add the tofu mixture back in. Pour in the coconut milk, stir well, and simmer for a few more minutes until the cauliflower is beginning to soften. Sprinkle the chopped cilantro on top. Serve with steamed white basmati rice, a simple tomato salad made with chopped tomatoes and olive oil and diced onions and salt to taste, and pasteurized Concord grape juice from Trader Joe's. Ummmmmmm!


 

Back in Elementary School

Um, my 30-day No Sweets Fast lasted for 3 days. I have a good excuse though! Dutch treats :) My mom came back from her yearly vacation with speculaas, appelstroop, and hagelslag. Well, needless to say, I couldn't say, "I'll have those in 27 days from now," because with my family around, there wouldn't be a crumb left a week from now, let alone 27 days!

A couple of days ago, I was wandering around in Wal-mart at 11 at night, blearily peering through sleep-o my deprived eyes at things I did not need, while trying to remember what I did need. In the middle of the office supplies aisle, I found a neat black mesh pencil holder, then picked up some smiley stickers that I will use as part of my incentive weight-loss program. The plan is to put a number of small stones, each representing a single pound, in the pencil holder. Then each time I lose a pound, a stone is taken out. Each time I gain a pound, a stone goes back in. Each time I exercise a mile, I'll put a smiley sticker on my exercise chart that I'm going to make.

I know, it sounds kind of elementary, but I'm finding that I have to keep on trying different things until I find something that works, and stick with that. I am a visual person and I like rewards :)

Popcorn on the TV

Yesterday I started my 30-day No Sweets Fast. I think it was probably one of the most difficult days of my life! For some reason all day long I was hungry. I wanted to eat something, and I wanted it to be something sweet. Like brownies. With vegan icecream on top. And chocolate syrup. And chocolate chips sprinkled over that. Okay, next topic.

So I spent most of the day working on paperwork with the TV playing in the background and for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to put my macadamia-sweetened-popcorn tub on top of the TV. All day long I stared at that popcorn but I couldn't eat it. Strangely enough, today I took a look at the popcorn and had no interest in it at all. Maybe I need to stare at a brownie all day?

Yesterday really made me realize how emotionally attached I am to food. As I constantly obsessed over eating something sweet, regardless of what it was, I kept on asking myself if I was really hungry. Each time the firm answer was No. I was not physically hungry; I was emotionally hungry.

There are a lot of false beliefs I carry around with me, that I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who battles with. Thoughts such as, "I deserve a sweet treat because it's been such a long day." Well, giving in to that excuse makes every day a difficult and a long day. It becomes really easy to find a reason as to why the day was so hard that only a brownie, or three, can make you feel better.

How about, "I bought the icecream on sale and I really shouldn't waste it." This is a difficult one for us frugal shoppers. We're so excited to find a good deal, we don't think about the consequences for our hips and our hearts. Some good deals can be left on the shelf for someone else to enjoy. Or, just buy one tub of icecream instead of 14 tubs. (It's true. I bought 14 tubs of Purely Decadent soy icecream the other day. It was only $1.99 at Grocery Outlet and I just couldn't pass it up.)

Here's a good one. "I'll just have one." One brownie, 10 chocolate chips, 1 handful of sugary popcorn, 1 slice of cake, 1 piece of chocolate. Hmmmm, I'm starting to see a theme here (chocolate, anyone?)! I've tried both kinds of self-control. One: no sweets during the week but a free pass on the weekend. Two: a sweet treat every day that's been scheduled into my daily calorie allotment. Most of the time, the daily treat works best for me, except for those binge days. Then the "just one" lasts for exactly one second. Before I know it, I'll be hands deep in the brownie box, inhaling white chocolate chips, and reaching for potato chips in between to mix it up a little. Hence the 30-day Sweet Fast. If I'm not eating it, I don't have to worry about rationing it.

One of my biggest challenge is this one. "I can't do this. I've tried it before and it worked for a grand total of 2 weeks before I gave up. My schedule keeps on changing so I can't keep a daily routine. I've tried to eat healthy and exercise for me, for my friends, for my family, but it's never lasted. So why should this time be different?" I don't have the answer to that question. I don't know why this time should be different, but I do know I have to keep on trying. Maybe there isn't a quick-fix and maybe there won't be a miraculous breakthrough, but maybe, like the tortoise, I will eventually reach my long-distant goal.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and chew on a stick of celery. . .

Recipe: Eggplant Parmesany

I stumbled across this recipe when trying to make an appetizing dish out of two vegetables that needed to be cooked. It is easier than pie, uses minimal ingredients, and tastes absolutely delicious! If you're a creative cook, you'll have fun making my Eggplant Parmesany.

In a casserole dish, layer the following ingredients in the order listed

   1/4 jar of spaghetti sauce (just enough to cover the bottom of the dish)
   Thick slices of eggplant
   A thick layer of washed fresh spinach leaves
   Generous dabs of Tofutti Sour Cream
   Salt to taste
   Thick slices of eggplant
   Bouillon powder and onion powder to taste
   A second thick layer of washed fresh spinach leaves
   Salt to taste
   Grated vegan cheese (Follow Your Heart Cheddar) on the very top

Cover the dish with aluminum foil and let soak in the refrigerator overnight. About 1.5 hours before you plan to eat, turn the oven on to 350 Fahrenheit and pop the casserole in the oven. Serve with plenty of bread to sop up the sauce! You may want to add some extra water, but when I did that, I had to pour it all out at the end because the eggplant ended up swimming in a watery soupy mixture!!!

Calories ~ 400 for the entire dish (varies, depending on how much cheese and tofutti you use)

Day One:

I did not snack today (do chocolate chips count?) but I probably went way over my calorie limit. I think I'm becoming obsessed with counting calories and maybe need to change my focus from counting constantly and thinking I can still eat another 250 calories and stay in maintenance mode to choosing wisely and eating till I'm 2/3 full.

Breakfast was a grapefruit, 4 clementines, and half a pita bread with jam. Lunch was a huge green salad with edamame, blue cheese, and dressing, a pound of steamed asparagus spears, and 1/3 cup of basmati rice. Supper was where I bombed. It started out okay with 1/4 baguette with avocado and sprouts, but then I had another 1/4 baguette and finished with a mini pizza. A bit too much for supper, I do think, but I was sooooo hungry from my strange breakfast and lunch! I see the wisdom in having a breakfast that is filling and can keep you going for the rest of the day.

Okey dokey, well tomorrow is another day!

Getting Back on the Bandwagon (and off the scales!)

This past week hasn't been as productive as I had hoped it would be. I think part of the reason is that when I stepped on the scales a day into the regime and realized my body was cooperating (finally!) and leaving the plateau where I'd been so comfortable for entirely too long, I psyched myself out and decided I could take it slow and still eat what I wanted to eat. Not a good battle plan.

I've also been doing some emotional eating. For some reason I've been craving potato chips. Yesterday, I finally broke down and bought some at Trader Joe's, the "healthy kind" but at 150 calories for 7 chips, I should have bought the bag of chips I saw on Friday that was lower in calories. Once I open a bag of something, anything, I have no self-control anyhow, so if I'm going to binge, I might as well binge on something that is lower in calories! The bag of chips I got had 2400 calories in it total. I've eaten about 2/3rds of that bag already. Not a good idea.

I haven't dared to buy chocolate, because I know I shall inhale and it will be gone. Instead I picked up a tray of mini-blueberry muffins. The problem with those (as with the chips) is that 8 of the 12 muffins are now gone, and with each at 90 calories, let's just say I probably won't be looking at a weight loss this week. I know, I know, I need to get ahold of myself and do something about all this eating. Sometimes I wonder if maybe the only cure is to only buy celery sticks and apples, but realistically that is probably not the best way to go about it!

I had to laugh when I looked at my list of 7 goals for last week. I definitely did not meet all of those goals. I think this week I need to be more realistic. Maybe I should just pick one goal and stick with it.

• This week I will not eat unless it is a meal-time, I will only eat 3 meals a day, and I will consciously choose the foods I place on my plate.

Recipe: Eggplant Chips (re-posted)

A week ago I went online looking for an eggplant recipe. When I came across the recipe for "Eggplant Chips" I decided to give it a go. Now I am eagerly looking forward to going shopping again so I can buy two eggplants this time! I made some changes to the recipe, but it worked out really great. If you like salty snacks, you'll enjoy this one!

   1 eggplant
   Olive oil spray
   2 Tb Braggs Liquid Aminos
   1/2 Tsp Garlic salt

Spray the baking sheet with the olive oil spray, pour the liquid aminos on the tray, then sprinkle garlic salt. Make sure the baking sheet is covered, then take your 1/4 inch eggplant slices, coat each side with the amino-salt mixture, and place on the tray. I needed two trays, so I coated the first batch and placed them on the other tray, then coated the second batch, sopping up all the remaining amino-salt mixture. Bake for 8-10 minutes on each side at 400 F. Check after 7 minutes to see if they are burning yet, remove as soon as they are golden brown. My favourite way to eat these is in a tortilla wrap with alfalfa sprouts, arugula, and a salad vegetable.

Calories ~ 130 for the entire eggplant

Choices, Choices, Choices

I absolutely love Fresh Choice! My sis and I went there for lunch today, since I had a 35% off coupon, and we ended up paying only $5.26 each. Totally awesome! I think I ate about twice as much salad as I should have, but I loaded up on the salad bar and only had two pieces of pizza, a bowl of icecream, and half a slice of the zucchini loaf that I love. Now I'm trying not to think about the extra pieces of zucchini loaf I didn't eat that are wrapped in a napkin at the bottom of my bag!

What I love about Fresh Choice is that they have the nutritional information for every single item. Even the salad bar items! Like 1/2 a cup of spinach is 2 calories. It's perfect for me because as I went down the line, I was mentally adding up in my head the calories I was putting on my plate, and ended up with a salad that couldn't have been more than 300 calories. They also have a pretty decent fat-free Italian dressing for only 15 calories per serving (got to look for one of those in the grocery store next time!) but I had to get a little ranch for my boiled eggs. You just can't eat boiled eggs with fat-free dressing!

I think I want to figure out how to make my salad my main dish at lunch time. Today, my salad included edamame, fresh spinach, blue cheese, chipotle hummus (too spicy for me!), mushrooms, cucumber pickles, kidney beans, bell pepper, chickpeas, pita bread, sweet corn, and boiled egg. Yummy!!! Okay, I'm getting hungry, so I'll stop here!

Recipe: InstanTaste

For breakfast today, I had a delicious bowl of oatmeal. I used to hate eating oatmeal, but now that I've discovered Quaker Oats Instant Oatmeal packets at Costco, I have discovered that a little sugar can go a long way to making it taste much better!!! I think tomorrow I will cut my oatmeal in half, or use 1-minute oats (150 calories for 1/2 cup is better than 260 calories for 2 packets) to reduce my total calories down to about 400.

   2 packets Quaker Oats Instant Oatmeal (I love the Apples & Cinnamon one!)
   1 cup vanilla soymilk or ricemilk
   Handful fresh blueberries
   12 hazelnuts
   1 apple, chunks
   Wheatgerm

Bring milk to the boil, add packets of oatmeal, stir and take off the heat. Pour the oatmeal into a pasta bowl so it will cool down quicker. Sprinkle the blueberries, hazelnuts, wheatgerm and apples on top. Enjoy!

Calories ~ 575

Filling Up On Premium

Okey dokes, went shopping today and spent way more than I needed to. I seriously don't know how to shop for just one person! But I came home with all kinds of goodies, including

• Fresh shelled edamame
• Fat-free feta cheese and blue cheese crumbles
• Organic arugula (of course!)
• Fresh stuffed grape leaves (Costco, 20 for $9.99)
• A mango
• Mediterranean hummus
• Avocadoes
• Fresh blueberries
• Whole wheat flour and corn tortillas
• Aloe vera juice
• Quick oats
• Extra firm tofu

I tried a recipe for eggplant chips, not quite sure it was supposed to get that dark in the oven, but we'll try them tomorrow and see how they taste! I also fried up a lovely veggie curry, using an oil spray and Braggs instead of olive oil. With salads that I make every day at lunch, I have lunch for a couple of days at least.

The plan is to wake up early enough that I can eat oatmeal for breakfast, with tons of fruit, vegetables and a grain for lunch, and a soup for supper. We shall see how it goes this week! I have a huge basket overflowing with tons of fruit (bananas, mango, kiwi, oranges, apples, honeydew melon, grapefruit and clementines) and I'm looking forward to tomorrow when I get to start my healthy meal plan!!!

Recipe: Let Us Rap

Okay, so I've tried this only once before, but making lettuce wraps really is fun! I knew I had to eat some salad veggies for lunch today, and lacked creativity to throw a salad together, so I decided to wash the lettuce and chop the bell peppers and see where it led me. This recipe is really messy so keep plenty of paper towels nearby!

   4 lettuce leaves, washed
   Bell pepper, green and yellow or red, cut in chunky strips
   Cucumber, slices
   Pickle relish (I like Bubbies' relish)
   Tofutti Sour Supreme
   Salt to taste

Place a lettuce leaf on your plate, smear some sour cream on top of about half the leaf, put about 1/2 a tsp of relish on top of that, add two cucumber slices (more or less, depending on the size of your lettuce leaf), lay a strip of bell pepper on top, and salt to taste. You can either roll the leaf up like a burrito or you can fold it in half and roll it like a spring roll. Toppings can vary, I like the combination of crunchy, sweet, salty and sour.

Calories ~ minimal, maybe 15 per wrap. (the only real calories are in the tofutti)

Losin' the Wait

Okay, so this coming week the plan is to try a more natural food plan. Whole foods, fruits, vegetables, nuts, grains. I'm not going to go raw all the way, but I am going to try eating as many unprocessed foods as I can. Been getting too lazy about the whole "counting calories" aspect of things, even though I've been pretty faithful about my exercise, and I think I've been more in a maintain mode than a weight-loss mode. Hopefully this will help me kick-start the loss, because I need to get serious about it!

I went online and Googled some lists of raw foods, then created my own in Excel. I have a list of fresh & frozen fruit, fresh & frozen & tinned vegetables, beans, nuts & seeds, grains, and then miscellaneous items like yogurt, peanut butter (healthy, not the Jiffy kind), honey, hummus, olive oil, soymilk, seaweed, dried fruit, aloe vera juice, and date sugar. That's all I can think of right now!

Tomorrow I'm going in to town and plan to take my list and stock up on foods on my list. My fridge is pretty empty right now, so it's the perfect time to do this. I'm already thinking about making a salad with veggies, artichoke hearts or palm hearts, sunflower or roasted pumpkin seeds, extra virgin olive oil, and lemon juice. Ummmmm!

My goals for this week are to:

   1. Enjoy a good balance of food groups
   2. Eat enough so I am not starving in between meals (snack on nuts? drink more water?)
   3. Lose 2 pounds
   4. Keep exercising every evening (or morning if I can manage it)
   5. Have fun and be creative with my meals, enjoying what I'm eating
   6. Encourage positive thoughts so I can stick it out for a week
   7. Feel like I have more energy than usual

So here's to an exciting new week!

Recipe: Breadless Sandwiches

This is a really fun plate to make and to eat. No bread, lots of veggies, and easy to prepare. I like to fry up the cutlets on Sunday and use them in pita bread sandwiches (best with thin cucumber slices). Be sure to use the kind of tofu that holds its shape well. Mori-Nu doesn't work for this, but you can use tofu from a health food store, Winco, Trader Joe's or some similar type of tofu.

   1 extra-firm block of tofu, sliced
   Olive oil to fry
   Nutritional yeast
   Seasoning salt

Fry slices of tofu in olive oil. Shake nutritional yeast and seasoning salt on one side of each slice, turn over and fry, add yeast and salt to the other side, and keep turning until both sides are golden brown.

   English cucumber, slices
   Green and yellow bell pepper, thick chunks
   Vegenaise, optional
   Salt to taste

Lay slices of seasoned, fried tofu on a breakfast plate. Dab a bit of vegenaise on each slice and top with cucumber slices. Arrange chunks of bell pepper around the breadless sandwiches and salt to taste.

Calories ~ 150 - 200 (for 1/4 of the block of tofu, depending on how much olive oil you use to fry with)

It's All About The Title

Bother. I'm flying to Europe in three months and I have to lose at least 15 pounds. About 30 would be nice :) Why? Because I'm going to see my Oma (grandmother in Dutch) and I told her a couple of months ago that my goal was to lose 30 pounds in 30 weeks for my 30th birthday. Of course, life happened, and while I have managed to lose 4 pounds since I started, it's still not going as fast as I would like!

I've changed my goals now, though. My constant goal is to figure out how to do the whole weight-loss thing while still living life. I've realized, as I said before, that life is not going to sit on its hands for six months while I work on losing weight. Life is going to keep on happening and things are going to keep on hitting me out of nowhere and I'm still going to feel stressed out. It's all about learning how to manage that stress and everything life offers while still eating healthy and working out.

I'm proud of myself, though :) I was sitting at work today and suddenly realized it was 6 pm and I had enough to keep me busy for another three hours, but instead I told myself rather firmly, "Maria, it's time to go home and exercise now." So, obediently, I packed up and went off to do my two miles. It really is becoming a habit and I'm pleased with that.

If it takes me a year, or if it takes two years, it doesn't matter, my goal is to lose the weight for good. I'm going to keep working on it, while still enjoying the food I eat. Sure wish there was a magic wand I could wave, though, and drop the pounds just like that! But it's okay. It's All About The Journey and one day I will reach my goal.

:)

Recipe: Vegan Shnickerdoodles

Adapted from a recipe found at http://www.joyofbaking.com/Snickerdoodles.html, this is a vegan version that uses simple ingredients and is fun to make and fun to eat!

   2 3/4 cups unbleached white flour
   2 teaspoons baking powder (I use aluminum-free Rumford)
   Salt to taste

Whisk above ingredients together. Set aside.

   1 cup Earth Balance Original Whipped Organic Buttery Spread (or vegan margarine at room temperature)
   1 1/2 cups cane sugar
   2 heaping Tbsp of cornstarch and soy flour mixed with some water into a medium paste
   1 Tsp - 1 Tbsp vanilla soymilk, if necessary

With a hand mixer or in an electric mixer, beat the margarine and cane sugar till smooth. Add the cornstarch/soy flour paste and blend until smooth. Add soymilk if necessary to bind the cookie dough into a smooth ball that can be rolled easily. Knead with your hands to get the right cookie dough texture.

Preheat oven to 400 F. Line baking tray with parchment paper (do NOT use wax paper; it will start a fire) or spray with baking spray (works just as well).

   1/4 cup cane sugar
   1 1/2 Tsp cinnamon
   Coloured sprinkles (optional)

Mix ingredients together in a pasta bowl. Roll pinches of the dough into 1-inch balls then roll in the mixture and coat well. Place cookie balls on the baking trap 2 inches apart. Flatten cookie balls with a glass to approximately 1/2 inch thick. Bake for 8-10 minutes, depending on the temperature of your oven, until golden brown. Cookies will still be soft. Use a spatula to flip the cookies upside down onto a plate and let cool.

Calories ~ 66 per cookie. Makes between 55 and 72 cookies.

Ask Yahoo First

Okay, I learned today that you CANNOT put wax paper in the oven at 400 degrees. After the fact. I really should have read the yahoo answers first.

I noticed the smoke coming up through the vents of my stove-top. Somehow it didn't register, though, because I opened up the oven, everything looked fine but there was some steam coming out and I thought maybe the cookies were steaming. Snickerdoodles, though? I mean, seriously! Maybe it was lack of sleep.

So I closed up the oven door and waited the two minutes more until my oven timer went off. Then, and only then, did I take the tray, carefully lined with wax paper and 16 snickerdoodle cookies golden-browned in neat rows, out of the oven. It was about five minutes later that I looked up and realized I was seeing my room through a haze. It's twenty-five minutes later and I've opened up a window, hoping to get the smoke out that way, but I'm realizing it probably won't work that well.

My guardian angel must have been working overtime to keep a fire from happening in my kitchen! I don't have a fire extinguisher (note to self, put it on the shopping list) and my place is such a mess right now, I don't think I would have been able to think clearly about what I wanted to save. Thankfully, I didn't have to worry about that.

The exercise is getting easier. I do 2 miles every day, still aiming for five times a week but content with a minimum of three. I think I"m addicted to exercise now :) I'm using muscles I didn't even know belonged in my arms and legs. Most days when I walk a quick shuffle-step over to the admin building, I relish the brief stretch and I can't wait till the evening when I can come home and exercise. It's true what all the books and shows say—find something you love to do. I don't miss walking the Loop. But if I go too long without my aerobic exercise time, I start to miss it. Too long is about three days.

The exciting news is that I've lost 3 pounds in 4 weeks! Being the overachiever, I was kinda bummed that I didn't lose 8 pounds (2 pounds a week) but then I decided to be happy that I had lost, instead of put weight on. I've decided to take this journey very slowly. I want it to be a life-long journey where I'm eating healthy for my body, exercising for my body, and prioritizing the positive parts of life for me. Even a 1/2 pound weight loss a week will be okay. At that rate, it will take me over a year to lose the weight I plan on losing, but that's okay too. If I can do it and not have to live on a starvation-diet that is unrealistic to maintain long-term, it's worth it.

So I'm excited! Now I'm going to type up the recipe for the cookies that laughed at me while smoke filled my room: Vegan Snickerdoodles.

Recipe: Shredded Crunches Salad

One of my favourite things to eat at lunch is a tossed green salad. This recipe is a basic idea of what I like to put in my salads, but you can change it up with green olives, chopped tomatoes, baby spinach, clover or alfalfa sprouts, kidney beans, fat-free feta cheese, or anything else you enjoy in a salad!

   3 large romaine lettuce leaves, shredded

   Handful of organic arugula, rinsed in cold water

   1/4 English cucumber, chopped

   Salad dressing

   Salad Topping

   Salt to taste

Layer the vegetables and pour your favourite dressing over it. I use Briannas Homestyle Real French Vinaigrette Dressing, you can buy it at Winco and it lasts forever. Plus it's only 130 calories for 2 Tbsp and very flavourful, so I don't need to use very much. You can also make a simple dressing with olive oil, lemon juice, and Tofutti sour cream or vegenaise, and drizzle it over your salad. For the final touch and a bit of crunch, add a generous sprinkle of your favourite salad topping and serve!

Calories ~ 150-200 (varies depending on the salad dressing you use)

Recipe: Fool's Quiche

This is my sister's recipe that I made some small variations to. I called it "Fool's Quiche" because it's basically foolproof. Completely dairy-free and tasty so enjoy baking with a guilt-free conscience!

   2 ready-made pie crusts (wholewheat Maple Lane Bakery from the health food store)
   5 cups corn (frozen, canned, or fresh)
   4 Tbsp cornstarch
   1 cup soymilk
   1 large onion, chopped
   2 small tins mushrooms
   3 garlic cloves, sliced
   1/2 tub firm tofu from Trader Joe's (or 1 tub extra firm tofu)
   Salt and garlic salt to taste.

Fry mushrooms, garlic and onions in olive oil.

Mix half of the cornstarch with half of the soymilk. Blend half of the corn with the cornstarch mixture till smooth. Pour mixture into a clean bowl. Repeat. Add firm tofu to the second batch and blend again. Pour both corn mixtures into the frying pan and cook everything together until firm. Pour into pie crusts, evenly divided. If you prefer, arrange pre-cooked asparagus spears on top of the pies in a decorative design. Bake at 350 F for 30-35 minutes. Quiches are done when the crusts are golden and the filling has set. Serve with garlic fries and a large garden salad. Best served the same day; it will soften if reheated.

Calories ~230 per slice. 16 servings. Can be halved to make just one quiche.

Sneaky Calories

Did you know that there are 13 calories in 3 cloves of garlic? 100 calories in grapefruit? 461 calories in a 6" - 7" diameter honeydew melon? I wonder if there are calories in the air you breathe when you walk past a pastry shop with freshly baked donuts or a pizza parlour with triple-cheese-and-cheese-baked-into-the-crust-as-if-you-don't-already-have-enough-cholesterol-to-worry-about pizza smells reaching out to tantalize your senses.

I got onto a honeydew melon kick several weeks ago and I happily brought home a melon, set it out to ripen, and cut into it when it was just pefect. I ate half a melon one evening and half the next, feeling quite virtuous that I was getting in my daily servings of fruit and keeping my calories low to boot. I was thinking more in the range of 70 to 100 calories, however, not 230 calories!!! It was then that I realized that calories are in everything I eat. Anytime I open my mouth, I will be inhaling calories (unless I'm breathing, but I'm still not convinced there isn't a calorie count to the air I'm taking in!).

So what? you say. Isn't it better to throw calories out the window and just eat plenty of fruits and veggies and enjoy life? Sure, I agree wholeheartedly. But if you're like about 99.9% of the population, you don't eat just fruits and vegetables. You have to have something on top of, underneath, mixed in, or to the side of those fruits and vegetables. It isn't healthy, anyhow, for the body, if it doesn't have some grains and nuts and variety added in.

There are calories out there and they are determined to sneak in to everything you eat, whether it's healthy or not. Calories aren't the enemy though. It's what type of calories I choose to eat that determines whether my scales will be smiling with me at the end of the week or whether they will groan in pain as I step on them pounds heavier than last. A honeydew melon has 230 calories and a bag of multigrain Sun Chips has 140 calories, but the melon is still the wiser choice.

Two Miles To Go Before I Sleep

Exercise. The word all dieters dread. You can get addicted to the endorphins but generally, the thought of exercise is not a pleasant one. Some choose to take their pill early in the morning, rising before the Canadian geese lift off from the swamps, and lacing up tennis shoes to hit the trails or cement paths. Others hit the gym straight after work, running miles on a treadmill or lifting weights. I walk at home.

I'm actually quite pleased with my exercise routine, but it didn't come easy. I choose to do 2 miles of low-impact aerobics every day with a Leslie Sansone Walk-at-Home DVD. The first time I ever even heard of Leslie was when my sister bought me a DVD at the Salvation Army store. She knew I was trying to find a good exercise DVD for those days when it was cold and raining and dark outside, or those days when I just didn't feel like seeing a zillion exercise enthusiasts on the Loop and saying hi every single time we passed. The DVDs I'd borrowed at the public library weren't much good. They were all about 20 years out of date, with everyone wearing those leopard-print leg warmers, frizzy-hair-in-a-headband and jumping up and down behind someone who would say "now plie" and everyone would suddenly put one leg behind their head and stand on their other toe!

One day, I decided to pop in the DVD and try it out. Now I own three additional DVDs and absolutely love the workout! There's different levels of intensity, you can do a mile in 15 minutes or in 12, and it's all low-impact. You walk in place, you do some kicks and knee-lifts, you step to the side, and you add some slight variations to it all. Easy to follow along, quick to learn the steps, and no fancy equipment required. All you need is a DVD player/laptop, some space to move about, and comfortable exercise clothes, and walk away!!!

When I first started walking at home, I was rather dubious about it all, plus I struggled with doing it on a regular basis. But I've made exercise a priority in my life and every day when I come home from work, I pop in the DVD and walk away. There are days I absolutely don't feel like walking at all. All I want to do is sit down and veg out in front of the TV, eating brownie bites and potato chips by the handful. But on those days, I know that if I exercise I'll feel even better than the days I want to exercise, so I push myself to do "just two miles." The time flies by, Leslie's encouraging words keep me smiling, and before I know it, those miles have gone by and I've accomplished my goal for that day.

Diggin' a Deeper Hole

Okay, so suppers are my Achille's heel. I am really not very big on breakfasts and it's easy to keep the calories to 400-500. Lunches are also pretty easy to gauge, particularly when I can eat a ton of veggies. But suppers? I come home, exercise, and then I'm hungry. I seriously need to figure out how to handle this, whether I eat the exact same thing every evening, or keep lunch and supper to 400 calories each so my supper can be slightly more, but then you're supposed to eat a bigger breakfast and a smaller supper. Bother!

If I'm hungry, I think I need to eat a small snack rather than wait too long. Tonight I was hungry at 5 pm already (lunch wasn't as filling as I thought it would be) and when I came home an hour later, I drank a glass of water to keep my stomach full while I did my exercise. Then I began to eat, and eat, because there was a huge hole in the bottom of my stomach and it wasn't filling up!!!

I need to come up with a plan.

Then again, I also need to affirm myself for the positive choices I am making. It's been three weeks now and so far I've managed to

1. Keep a 1 lb loss per week
2. Exercised between 3-5 times per week
3. Cut down on chocolate
4. Cut down on snacks
5. Eat more veggies and fruits

My future goals are to

• Find a plan for suppers that works
• Eat one fruit a day
• Prioritize regular shopping for fruits and veggies
• Have a salad every day
• Try to eat more soups

A Chip or a Bite?

I've figured out that a chocolate brownie bite has less calories per gram than sweetened chocolate chips. Unless you decide to only eat 1/4 cup of chocolate chips, portioned out one or two at a time, to get a sweet fix, which is 80 calories as opposed to a 110 calorie brownie bite. My only problem? I can't eat just one or two chocolate chips at a time! I eat about 10 at a time.

Read a great blog on Calorie Count today about a young woman who lost 40+ lbs. That's my inspiration for the day! She had some great tips: find an exercise you enjoy, find a low-calorie treat you enjoy, don't get upset about a bad day but just start again, and celebreate successes.

I don't like eating foods that I have to guess at their calorie count. Like the food I took home from the International Dinner. I have absolutely no clue how many calories I ate today, but what I did do was keep it at smaller portions since the majority of the dishes were fried or oily.

Excited that I've figured out how to make sure I get my extra half liter in before the end of the day: drink it in the middle of the afternoon! I am pretty religious about getting in my 4 17-oz glasses a day for my 2 litres total. 1: Breakfast. 2: Lunch. 3: Mid-afternoon. 4: Right before exercising.

It's 11:30 pm and all I can think about is eating a cheese stick. But I really don't need an extra 90 calories today.

Sun and Spekulaas

Having a plan is definitely the way to go. Prioritizing exercise is also a good idea! Staying hydrated is important. If you happen to be short (on water, not height!), it's better to drink an extra half liter at 9 pm than to be dehydrated (plus, if you're low on water, it will skew your weigh-in because your body then holds on to water and you appear to be heavier than you really are!).

This morning I chose to do a mile with my Leslie Sansone Walk-at-Home and then, because it was such a lovely day, walked two loops. So I got my sunshine in and my exercise, and all before breakfast! Which happened to be at 1 pm.

Since I knew it was going to be an International Food Fair this evening, with tons of tempting fried foods, I decided to keep my calorie count at a reasonable amount. I did not undereat, because I knew I'd be so starving I'd end up eating way too much in the evening. Then, luckily for me, I ended up volunteering to help with the money and tickets part of things, so I was too busy to eat. Had a slice of cheesecake, a cabbage roll, and probably about 3 spekulaas (Dutch spice cookies).

Recipe: Refried Lavash

 A twist on a classic burrito, I've paired a lavash with refried beans and kept it simple with few condiments.

   1 wholewheat Lavash from Trader Joe's
   Refried beans, between 1/4 to 2/3 cup
   Slices of sharp cheddar cheese
   1/4 avocado
   1 Tbsp sour cream, Tofutti (vegan)
   Pace salsa (I prefer mild)
   Salt to taste

Heat refried beans. Spread a generous portion down the center of the lavash. Add slices of cheese, placing directly on top of the beans so cheese will melt slightly. Smear sour cream on top of the cheese, add thick slices of avocado, dabs of salsa, and salt to taste. Roll up lavash tightly and cut into half. Serve immediately.

Calories ~ 575.

$250 Deposit in Savings, Please

Still up at 11:45, watching Project Runway and thinking about eating. Can calories eaten after midnight count towards the next day's total? I finally ate a cheese stick.

Some days are just "maintain" days. At least the only thing I ate today that wasn't the best for me were the brownie and the icecream. Oh, did I mention I also had two suppers? A really great lavash burrito for the first supper; a whole wheat tortilla with vegenaise, and a brownie for the second one.


Hmmm. . .I think I need to get my mind in gear again. I'm thinking a little too much about how I've worked out 250 calories so I can now eat those calories. I need to think of those exercise calories as money in savings, not checking!!!

As the Loop Turns

It's been a good day, so far. Staying up late to create this blog meant I slept in and didn't eat breakfast till about 10:30 am. Thinking about my blog the night before encouraged me to grab a quick rosemary baguette sandwich (minus the arugula, I didn't want to go to church with green stuff stuck between my teeth!), so while my breakfast was, again, 200 calories, this time it was more filling and kept me happy till lunch.

Rachel made an absolutely delicious vegan lasagna for lunch today. She has a really simple recipe, which I'll have to get from her sometime and post here, that basically consists of layers of tomato sauce (Prego works just fine), layers of mashed tofu, layers of uncooked lasagna noodles, and, if she has time, a cheese sauce made from pimentos. Assemble, pop in the oven, and bake. Even without the cheese sauce, it is still quite tasty and is starting to become a Sabbath lunch staple now!

For dessert we all enjoyed either chocolate or cherry-chocolate-chip vegan icecream. High in calories, yes, but once a week for a treat is just fine. Michael enjoyed his first taste of cherry-chocolate-chip, as he has recently begun eating chocolate since his allergies probably don't include chocolate. Now that I think about it, it is rather rare to hear of someone with an allergy to chocolate.

Most weeks I fall asleep on the sofa at my mom's house (it is the most comfortable place to sleep!), lulled to sleep by the silence only broken by occasional creaks of our friendly old mobile home and by the soothing sun streaming through the dining room window. This afternoon, however, I decided to go home to nap instead, but once I slipped my shoes off, I suddenly decided I wanted to do a couple of turns around the Loop instead. With my mp3 player and Sandi Patti's praise songs ringing in my ears, I stepped out my front door and headed to the beaten cement path.

I was originally planning to walk only two miles. After the first half-mile, I looked down and saw my battery had just changed to empty, so I decided I would walk until 1. I had completed three full miles, 2. I had finished listening to the Eric and Leslie Ludy Faithfully cd, or 3. my battery ran out. I found myself nearing the end of my third mile an hour after I'd left my house, my cd and battery showing no sign of ending, and fearing I would be walking till midnight, I headed in, refreshed and happy that I'd made a commitment to exercising today.

I've exercised 5 times this week so far. My goal is to do two miles of exercise (aerobic or walking) at least three times a week and up to five. I'm trying to find a balance that will work for me and that I can stick to for the rest of my life. Guess I've made my goal for this week!

Recipe: Arugula On Rosemary

Arugula has a slightly nutty or cheesy flavour and combines perfectly with a rosemary bread. A quarter baguette is only 120 calories but the sandwich is filling and delicious. Change it up any way you wish by adding green olives, tomato slices, or low-fat feta cheese.
   
   1/4 Rosemary baguette from Trader Joe's
   Arugula (pre-washed, bagged, organic if possible)
   Sprouts (alfalfa or clover)
   Vegenaise (soy alternative to mayonnaise)
   English cucumber slices (optional)

Cut your baguette in half and spread a thin layer of vegenaise on one side. Add cucumber slices (optional) and a layer of sprouts. Stuff with arugula (as much as you can fit in and still close the bread). Salt to taste. Enjoy!

Calories ~ 225 (1 Tbsp vegenaise, 1/4 baguette, and cucumber)

RainDropsOnMyA/C

So here we go, testing this out, I absolutely love to write and they say that people who journal on a regular basis are less likely to overeat and will have a higher success rate in losing weight.

Today was not such a good day. Seems like I have about two of those days every week, days when I feel the need to eat everything in sight, even though I'm not physically hungry. Today it was a tray of spanakopita from Trader Joes' (okay, before you start judging me, it was only 720 calories total) which I managed to finish in two sittings.  I think I'm discovering I can't eat anything baked, fried, sweetened, or with cheese on top.

I'm also discovering the importance of a healthy breakfast. It's true what the expects say, it really does set the tone for the rest of your day. Unfortunately I was in a rush this morning and ended up grabbing a colby jack cheese stick (my one failing, oh wait, cheddar cheese is my other failing), a granola bar, a bag of almonds, and a mini applesauce. The applesauce smelled funny, which shouldn't be a surprise since who knows when that apple was mushed into sauce anyway and it's been stored in plastic ever since, so after a couple of spoonfuls I threw it in the trash. I ate the cheese stick and granola bar (200 calories total) at 8:00 and a handful of almonds at 11:30 when my stomach refused to stop grumbling.

Then came lunch. While rummaging about for something to eat (that's another thing I'm learning, you really do have to have a plan and be deliberate about it, otherwise whatever looks good may not be the best choice), I came across my tray of frozen spanakopita. I decided to pop the entire tray in the oven when I noticed the pastry was half defrosted, thanks to my mini-fridge freezer that ices the bottom half of frozen goods and thaws the top half. One Marilyn Milian and two Judge Alex court shows later, I had polished off 8 of the 12 triangular pastries. (note to self, if eating and watching TV at the same time, plate all food and do not go back for seconds. also, do not keep extra containers of food items close at hand for mindless eating.)

Oh, that wasn't all I had for lunch. My first course consisted of leftover 3-bean salad from my ambitious shopping trip to Costco (seriously, now, what does a 29-year old single woman who's trying to lose 30 pounds doing shopping in Costco? and don't tell me it's for the good deal on mini chocolate brownies!). My second course included leftover spanish rice that "needed to be finished." (yet another fallacy. why can't I just learn to throw food away before stuffing myself silly?) Needless to say, I spent most of my afternoon with an aching stomach, sitting on my bed, too lazy to move (all my energy was going towards digesting that mountain of food I'd shovelled down at lunch!). Of course, having the heat at 82 degrees didn't help either!

I religiously decided that since I'd OD'd on food at lunch, I would skip supper. Brilliant idea, right? Especiallly after skipping breakfast! Which is why I found myself staring into the depths (about two feet deep) of my mini-fridge at 10 pm, wondering what I could eat to still a demanding stomach and dismissing the carrot sticks and hummous. It was just a little late to digest fiber that had to be crunched first, even if they were mini carrot sticks. A cup of spanish rice (I hadn't finished it all at lunch!) and the final 4 spanakopitas later, my stomach was satiated and I tried not to think about the total number of calories I had ingested today. At least I'll be able to sleep tonight (I hope!).

Lesson learned. Always take the time to prepare and eat a healthy breakfast that includes a minimum of 350 calories (and two yogurts don't count!).

Oh yes, in answer to your question, I'm addicted to arugula. Stir-fried, as a salad base, or stuffed in a rosemary baguette, arugula is the most delicious green leafy vegetable I've ever tasted. Try it sometime! You'll love it!