Like countless others, I've been struggling with my weight for several years now. Sometimes I think the struggle is more in my mind, but of course that translates to inhaling thousands of calories where there should only be hundreds. I'm not sure exactly what happened, as pounds packed on in a rapid amount of time and then absolutely refused to disappear. Like countless others, I have tried countless diets and "change of lifestyles" with different types of exercise. Yet nothing seems to work, neither to make a significant enough impact that I feel energized to continue doing it. I could blame my genes, my underactive thyroid, my stress level, or my hectic lifestyle. Blaming won't help much, though.
What is the magic key? Is there one? There are a multitude of books available that will tell you to change something: your lifestyle, your type of exercise, your negative self-talk, your perception of yourself, your environment, your stress level, your way of eating, your source of support. Yet to wade through all the material and know exactly which one to adopt, or to try to do everything, seems to be impossible. I'm a die-hard optimistic and am always trying something new. On the other hand, I am starting to feel like the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, as Albert Einstein so aptly put it.
I think one piece of the puzzle is one I hadn't fully comprehended until my summer vacation this year. I set off mid-May, fully intending to spend most of my time reading and writing and rejuvenating. I found myself well into the three weeks of holiday, realizing that I would only have about three days where I didn't have something already planned. Every day was busily booked with traveling, shopping, spending time with family and friends, and business. And yet, in the midst of all this hubbub, I did find some time for me. I had hours of time to read and worked through about 10 books. I started (and finished!) a cross-stitch I'd kept in my arts and crafts drawer for several years. I slept in most mornings till after 10 am (most of the time I had a hard time getting to sleep at night, with jet lag and narrow hard European beds!). I stood on the balcony in the cool night air and looked at the town of Apeldoorn with its bits of street lights keeping the dark awake. I sat in my mother's best friend's garden in the early summer sun, unusually hot for that time of year. I journalled and blogged and wrote long epistles to my family, finding the humour in my experiences.
What I'm trying to say is that I spent time on me and it was time well deserved. As I settle back into the usual routine of life, work and all that, I remember those moments and I want to grasp as many of them as I can. Today I invested time in cleaning up my tiny studio apartment, washing my dishes and cleaning my bathroom and tidying up so that I have a deep peace of mind as I look around my place. I'm pleased that I was able to accomplish so much and I did it all for me (and in case anyone stops by!).
I've always heard that you should lose weight for yourself, but struggled to understand that fully until now. I think maybe, after all, it's okay to stop and take time for me. To set aside time in the morning so I can prepare a healthy breakfast. To be conscious of what I'm eating for supper instead of zoning out while I watch TV. To invest in exercise and embrace the adrenaline that only comes after several rounds of walking or a couple of miles with Leslie Sansone.
The next part of the journey is understanding what it means and putting it into practice.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
A Few Easy Tips
Oh dear, it's been more than a month since I've blogged on here! I had all kinds of good intentions, of course, but you know how those go. I do have a few tricks I'd like to share, though, that I'm trying to incorporate into my healthy weight journey.
Drink lots of water. It helps with not snacking if you keep hydrated. Often, when I find myself cranky or hungry, I know it's because I've skipped drinking some of my water for the day and I find myself reaching for the carbs or the grease when I know that water is all I need to make me happy again. I like to drink on a schedule. 16 oz before breakfast, 16 oz before lunch, 16 oz in the afternoon, and 16 oz in the early evening. You can also switch the early evening water to mid-morning if you prefer. 16 oz sounds like a lot, but if you buy one of those tall glasses at Walmart, you'll find it's quite easy to down the water in one go.
Find a favourite low-calorie snack and stock up on it. I know that sounds like it would defeat the purpose if you stock up on a snack, but I'm finding that it actually works the opposite. For the emotional eaters, like me, we tend to go into starvation mode anytime we're not eating. We have an unhealthy connection with food and we feel like if we have only one bar of chocolate, we have to eat it all at once. Don't ask me to explain why, because I have no clue. If, however, we have 10 bars of chocolate in the fridge, we feel more at ease and it is easier to eat just a half bar of chocolate, or even a couple of pieces. There's more chocolate for later so we can relax. This isn't a joke, I've actually experienced it with the 14 tubs of Purely Decadent icecream I brought home from Grocery Outlet. That was several months ago and we're still eating that icecream! For me, my low calorie snack is the baked Snapea Crisps I can buy for $1.49 at Trader Joe's. They are super tasty and if I feel the need to binge on a bag, it's only 450 calories. A bag of any other snack would be 1,000 calories minimum.
Don't buy things you know you shouldn't eat. I know, it sounds redundant, but you seriously have to get serious about it. Food is like any other addiction, if you have access to your addiction of choice you will not be able to keep strong boundaries. If I have a box of croissants in my kitchen, I'm not going to eat a half a croissant every morning for the next two weeks. I'm going to eat those croissants in three or four days. Chocolate? Gone. Baked goods? Gone. Potato Chips? Gone. I'll be the first to admit, this is a battle I am constantly battling against. Every time I step into a store, my eyes and stomach reach immediately for the grease-sugar laden goodies. Unfortunately, we need food to survive so I am working on that happy medium where I can enjoy what I eat but not have to put on 20 pounds while I'm enjoying it or feel like my meals consist of sawdust and boiled carrots!
Drink lots of water. It helps with not snacking if you keep hydrated. Often, when I find myself cranky or hungry, I know it's because I've skipped drinking some of my water for the day and I find myself reaching for the carbs or the grease when I know that water is all I need to make me happy again. I like to drink on a schedule. 16 oz before breakfast, 16 oz before lunch, 16 oz in the afternoon, and 16 oz in the early evening. You can also switch the early evening water to mid-morning if you prefer. 16 oz sounds like a lot, but if you buy one of those tall glasses at Walmart, you'll find it's quite easy to down the water in one go.
Find a favourite low-calorie snack and stock up on it. I know that sounds like it would defeat the purpose if you stock up on a snack, but I'm finding that it actually works the opposite. For the emotional eaters, like me, we tend to go into starvation mode anytime we're not eating. We have an unhealthy connection with food and we feel like if we have only one bar of chocolate, we have to eat it all at once. Don't ask me to explain why, because I have no clue. If, however, we have 10 bars of chocolate in the fridge, we feel more at ease and it is easier to eat just a half bar of chocolate, or even a couple of pieces. There's more chocolate for later so we can relax. This isn't a joke, I've actually experienced it with the 14 tubs of Purely Decadent icecream I brought home from Grocery Outlet. That was several months ago and we're still eating that icecream! For me, my low calorie snack is the baked Snapea Crisps I can buy for $1.49 at Trader Joe's. They are super tasty and if I feel the need to binge on a bag, it's only 450 calories. A bag of any other snack would be 1,000 calories minimum.
Don't buy things you know you shouldn't eat. I know, it sounds redundant, but you seriously have to get serious about it. Food is like any other addiction, if you have access to your addiction of choice you will not be able to keep strong boundaries. If I have a box of croissants in my kitchen, I'm not going to eat a half a croissant every morning for the next two weeks. I'm going to eat those croissants in three or four days. Chocolate? Gone. Baked goods? Gone. Potato Chips? Gone. I'll be the first to admit, this is a battle I am constantly battling against. Every time I step into a store, my eyes and stomach reach immediately for the grease-sugar laden goodies. Unfortunately, we need food to survive so I am working on that happy medium where I can enjoy what I eat but not have to put on 20 pounds while I'm enjoying it or feel like my meals consist of sawdust and boiled carrots!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Recipe: Spinache
A simple mushroom spinach quiche I just whipped this up this afternoon.
1 tub extra-firm tofu (preferably Trader Joe's)
1/3 cup cornstarch
Seasoning to taste (eg. Bill's Best chiknish)
Salt to taste
1 cup unsweetened soymilk
3/4 large onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, chopped
9 fresh mushrooms, sliced
1 bag of fresh spinach, washed
Blend the first five ingredients till smooth. Fry the next three ingredients till soft in a pan large enough to add the tofu mixture and the spinach. Add the tofu mixture and mix in, then stir in the spinach. Keep stirring constantly with heat on high until the spinach wilts. Pour into two wholewheat pre-made frozen pie crusts, pop into a pre-heated oven at 350, and bake for 35 minutes. Serve with gravy and mashed potatoes.
1 tub extra-firm tofu (preferably Trader Joe's)
1/3 cup cornstarch
Seasoning to taste (eg. Bill's Best chiknish)
Salt to taste
1 cup unsweetened soymilk
3/4 large onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, chopped
9 fresh mushrooms, sliced
1 bag of fresh spinach, washed
Blend the first five ingredients till smooth. Fry the next three ingredients till soft in a pan large enough to add the tofu mixture and the spinach. Add the tofu mixture and mix in, then stir in the spinach. Keep stirring constantly with heat on high until the spinach wilts. Pour into two wholewheat pre-made frozen pie crusts, pop into a pre-heated oven at 350, and bake for 35 minutes. Serve with gravy and mashed potatoes.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Recipe: Vegan Indhai Curry
The name of this recipe is a play on words, taking influences from both Indian and Thai cuisine, to create a delicious vegan curry that tastes great for a Sabbath lunch with rice, a tomato salad, and grape juice.
1 large onion, diced or chopped
3 cloves fresh garlic, diced
Extra-virgin olive oil
1 block extra firm tofu, cubed
Curry powder
Cinnamon
Ginger
Turmeric
1/4 head green cabbage, shredded
1 zucchini, thinly sliced
1/2 head cauliflower
Extra-virgin olive oil
Salt to taste
1 tin coconut milk (Thai Kitchen, regular)
Fresh cilantro, chopped
Fry the onion and garlic in the olive oil for a couple of minutes, add the tofu and the spices and fry for several more minutes. Place in a bowl and put to the side. Fry the vegetables in olive oil until the cabbage is beginning to wilt and the zucchini is soft. Salt to taste and add the tofu mixture back in. Pour in the coconut milk, stir well, and simmer for a few more minutes until the cauliflower is beginning to soften. Sprinkle the chopped cilantro on top. Serve with steamed white basmati rice, a simple tomato salad made with chopped tomatoes and olive oil and diced onions and salt to taste, and pasteurized Concord grape juice from Trader Joe's. Ummmmmmm!
1 large onion, diced or chopped
3 cloves fresh garlic, diced
Extra-virgin olive oil
1 block extra firm tofu, cubed
Curry powder
Cinnamon
Ginger
Turmeric
1/4 head green cabbage, shredded
1 zucchini, thinly sliced
1/2 head cauliflower
Extra-virgin olive oil
Salt to taste
1 tin coconut milk (Thai Kitchen, regular)
Fresh cilantro, chopped
Fry the onion and garlic in the olive oil for a couple of minutes, add the tofu and the spices and fry for several more minutes. Place in a bowl and put to the side. Fry the vegetables in olive oil until the cabbage is beginning to wilt and the zucchini is soft. Salt to taste and add the tofu mixture back in. Pour in the coconut milk, stir well, and simmer for a few more minutes until the cauliflower is beginning to soften. Sprinkle the chopped cilantro on top. Serve with steamed white basmati rice, a simple tomato salad made with chopped tomatoes and olive oil and diced onions and salt to taste, and pasteurized Concord grape juice from Trader Joe's. Ummmmmmm!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Back in Elementary School
Um, my 30-day No Sweets Fast lasted for 3 days. I have a good excuse though! Dutch treats :) My mom came back from her yearly vacation with speculaas, appelstroop, and hagelslag. Well, needless to say, I couldn't say, "I'll have those in 27 days from now," because with my family around, there wouldn't be a crumb left a week from now, let alone 27 days!
A couple of days ago, I was wandering around in Wal-mart at 11 at night, blearily peering through sleep-o my deprived eyes at things I did not need, while trying to remember what I did need. In the middle of the office supplies aisle, I found a neat black mesh pencil holder, then picked up some smiley stickers that I will use as part of my incentive weight-loss program. The plan is to put a number of small stones, each representing a single pound, in the pencil holder. Then each time I lose a pound, a stone is taken out. Each time I gain a pound, a stone goes back in. Each time I exercise a mile, I'll put a smiley sticker on my exercise chart that I'm going to make.
I know, it sounds kind of elementary, but I'm finding that I have to keep on trying different things until I find something that works, and stick with that. I am a visual person and I like rewards :)
A couple of days ago, I was wandering around in Wal-mart at 11 at night, blearily peering through sleep-o my deprived eyes at things I did not need, while trying to remember what I did need. In the middle of the office supplies aisle, I found a neat black mesh pencil holder, then picked up some smiley stickers that I will use as part of my incentive weight-loss program. The plan is to put a number of small stones, each representing a single pound, in the pencil holder. Then each time I lose a pound, a stone is taken out. Each time I gain a pound, a stone goes back in. Each time I exercise a mile, I'll put a smiley sticker on my exercise chart that I'm going to make.
I know, it sounds kind of elementary, but I'm finding that I have to keep on trying different things until I find something that works, and stick with that. I am a visual person and I like rewards :)
Monday, March 29, 2010
Popcorn on the TV
Yesterday I started my 30-day No Sweets Fast. I think it was probably one of the most difficult days of my life! For some reason all day long I was hungry. I wanted to eat something, and I wanted it to be something sweet. Like brownies. With vegan icecream on top. And chocolate syrup. And chocolate chips sprinkled over that. Okay, next topic.
So I spent most of the day working on paperwork with the TV playing in the background and for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to put my macadamia-sweetened-popcorn tub on top of the TV. All day long I stared at that popcorn but I couldn't eat it. Strangely enough, today I took a look at the popcorn and had no interest in it at all. Maybe I need to stare at a brownie all day?
Yesterday really made me realize how emotionally attached I am to food. As I constantly obsessed over eating something sweet, regardless of what it was, I kept on asking myself if I was really hungry. Each time the firm answer was No. I was not physically hungry; I was emotionally hungry.
There are a lot of false beliefs I carry around with me, that I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who battles with. Thoughts such as, "I deserve a sweet treat because it's been such a long day." Well, giving in to that excuse makes every day a difficult and a long day. It becomes really easy to find a reason as to why the day was so hard that only a brownie, or three, can make you feel better.
How about, "I bought the icecream on sale and I really shouldn't waste it." This is a difficult one for us frugal shoppers. We're so excited to find a good deal, we don't think about the consequences for our hips and our hearts. Some good deals can be left on the shelf for someone else to enjoy. Or, just buy one tub of icecream instead of 14 tubs. (It's true. I bought 14 tubs of Purely Decadent soy icecream the other day. It was only $1.99 at Grocery Outlet and I just couldn't pass it up.)
Here's a good one. "I'll just have one." One brownie, 10 chocolate chips, 1 handful of sugary popcorn, 1 slice of cake, 1 piece of chocolate. Hmmmm, I'm starting to see a theme here (chocolate, anyone?)! I've tried both kinds of self-control. One: no sweets during the week but a free pass on the weekend. Two: a sweet treat every day that's been scheduled into my daily calorie allotment. Most of the time, the daily treat works best for me, except for those binge days. Then the "just one" lasts for exactly one second. Before I know it, I'll be hands deep in the brownie box, inhaling white chocolate chips, and reaching for potato chips in between to mix it up a little. Hence the 30-day Sweet Fast. If I'm not eating it, I don't have to worry about rationing it.
One of my biggest challenge is this one. "I can't do this. I've tried it before and it worked for a grand total of 2 weeks before I gave up. My schedule keeps on changing so I can't keep a daily routine. I've tried to eat healthy and exercise for me, for my friends, for my family, but it's never lasted. So why should this time be different?" I don't have the answer to that question. I don't know why this time should be different, but I do know I have to keep on trying. Maybe there isn't a quick-fix and maybe there won't be a miraculous breakthrough, but maybe, like the tortoise, I will eventually reach my long-distant goal.
If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and chew on a stick of celery. . .
So I spent most of the day working on paperwork with the TV playing in the background and for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to put my macadamia-sweetened-popcorn tub on top of the TV. All day long I stared at that popcorn but I couldn't eat it. Strangely enough, today I took a look at the popcorn and had no interest in it at all. Maybe I need to stare at a brownie all day?
Yesterday really made me realize how emotionally attached I am to food. As I constantly obsessed over eating something sweet, regardless of what it was, I kept on asking myself if I was really hungry. Each time the firm answer was No. I was not physically hungry; I was emotionally hungry.
There are a lot of false beliefs I carry around with me, that I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who battles with. Thoughts such as, "I deserve a sweet treat because it's been such a long day." Well, giving in to that excuse makes every day a difficult and a long day. It becomes really easy to find a reason as to why the day was so hard that only a brownie, or three, can make you feel better.
How about, "I bought the icecream on sale and I really shouldn't waste it." This is a difficult one for us frugal shoppers. We're so excited to find a good deal, we don't think about the consequences for our hips and our hearts. Some good deals can be left on the shelf for someone else to enjoy. Or, just buy one tub of icecream instead of 14 tubs. (It's true. I bought 14 tubs of Purely Decadent soy icecream the other day. It was only $1.99 at Grocery Outlet and I just couldn't pass it up.)
Here's a good one. "I'll just have one." One brownie, 10 chocolate chips, 1 handful of sugary popcorn, 1 slice of cake, 1 piece of chocolate. Hmmmm, I'm starting to see a theme here (chocolate, anyone?)! I've tried both kinds of self-control. One: no sweets during the week but a free pass on the weekend. Two: a sweet treat every day that's been scheduled into my daily calorie allotment. Most of the time, the daily treat works best for me, except for those binge days. Then the "just one" lasts for exactly one second. Before I know it, I'll be hands deep in the brownie box, inhaling white chocolate chips, and reaching for potato chips in between to mix it up a little. Hence the 30-day Sweet Fast. If I'm not eating it, I don't have to worry about rationing it.
One of my biggest challenge is this one. "I can't do this. I've tried it before and it worked for a grand total of 2 weeks before I gave up. My schedule keeps on changing so I can't keep a daily routine. I've tried to eat healthy and exercise for me, for my friends, for my family, but it's never lasted. So why should this time be different?" I don't have the answer to that question. I don't know why this time should be different, but I do know I have to keep on trying. Maybe there isn't a quick-fix and maybe there won't be a miraculous breakthrough, but maybe, like the tortoise, I will eventually reach my long-distant goal.
If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and chew on a stick of celery. . .
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Recipe: Eggplant Parmesany
I stumbled across this recipe when trying to make an appetizing dish out of two vegetables that needed to be cooked. It is easier than pie, uses minimal ingredients, and tastes absolutely delicious! If you're a creative cook, you'll have fun making my Eggplant Parmesany.
In a casserole dish, layer the following ingredients in the order listed
1/4 jar of spaghetti sauce (just enough to cover the bottom of the dish)
Thick slices of eggplant
A thick layer of washed fresh spinach leaves
Generous dabs of Tofutti Sour Cream
Salt to taste
Thick slices of eggplant
Bouillon powder and onion powder to taste
A second thick layer of washed fresh spinach leaves
Salt to taste
Grated vegan cheese (Follow Your Heart Cheddar) on the very top
Cover the dish with aluminum foil and let soak in the refrigerator overnight. About 1.5 hours before you plan to eat, turn the oven on to 350 Fahrenheit and pop the casserole in the oven. Serve with plenty of bread to sop up the sauce! You may want to add some extra water, but when I did that, I had to pour it all out at the end because the eggplant ended up swimming in a watery soupy mixture!!!
Calories ~ 400 for the entire dish (varies, depending on how much cheese and tofutti you use)
In a casserole dish, layer the following ingredients in the order listed
1/4 jar of spaghetti sauce (just enough to cover the bottom of the dish)
Thick slices of eggplant
A thick layer of washed fresh spinach leaves
Generous dabs of Tofutti Sour Cream
Salt to taste
Thick slices of eggplant
Bouillon powder and onion powder to taste
A second thick layer of washed fresh spinach leaves
Salt to taste
Grated vegan cheese (Follow Your Heart Cheddar) on the very top
Cover the dish with aluminum foil and let soak in the refrigerator overnight. About 1.5 hours before you plan to eat, turn the oven on to 350 Fahrenheit and pop the casserole in the oven. Serve with plenty of bread to sop up the sauce! You may want to add some extra water, but when I did that, I had to pour it all out at the end because the eggplant ended up swimming in a watery soupy mixture!!!
Calories ~ 400 for the entire dish (varies, depending on how much cheese and tofutti you use)
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