Clean Eating

I realized today that it's been 6 months since I've posted here, and for that I apologize. I started studying and got caught up in that, rather than my health, for awhile. Now I'm back on track, resolved to lose the weight seriously. You may remember about 18 months ago I was pleased to drop about 18 pounds. Unfortunately, due to stress and life changes, I put about 10-12 of those back on. I returned to feeling upset with myself that I couldn't fit into my clothes (I'd given away all my larger sized clothing); shying away from pictures; and my self-confidence was struggling. My takeaway from this is not that being thin equals happiness. It's that being healthy equals happiness. I knew, even when I didn't want to admit to it, that I wasn't eating as healthily as I could. I baked cakes and cookies as fast as I could eat them, and even while I rationalized that at least now I wasn't eating the Doritoes and the Chips Ahoy, I was still indulging in the same ingredients, just in a different form.

So I've resolved to return to clean eating. I will be the first to raise my hand and say, "It's Not Easy!!!" It requires discipline, retraining my taste buds, and exerting extra effort to prepare a plate of good food. I can't just grab several cookies and pop a grilled cheese sandwich on my plate. Suppers are my biggest downfall and I have to now be intentional about choosing what I eat so I maintain a consistent caloric intake. But I also love a challenge and this time I have a goal.

I created a Success Chart and stuck it to my mirror. Each day that I exercise an hour, I get to put a check mark on my chart. Each meal that is less than or equal to 500 calories and includes at least 3 servings of fruits and/or vegetables, I get to put a tick on my chart. I'm rewarding myself monetarily and incrementally. First, the psychological association with putting a check mark or a tick gives me incentive to fill up the boxes each week. My chart was created for 14 weeks so I'll be able to see all the check marks and ticks accumulate. Second, if I exercise 5 times a week I'll "earn" $5 but if I exercise 6 times a week I'll "earn" $10 and if I exercise 7 times a week I'll "earn" $15. In the same manner, for the first day of clean eating I'll "earn" $3 but each day will increase by 50 cents so that I'm up to $6 by day 7 of clean eating. If I slip up, in other words if I have only 2 clean eating meals in a particular day, then I've lost one step up. So for that week, I would only make it to the $5.50 tier.

Now you have to understand something about me; I'm an A student and a competitive overachiever. If it says to exercise 60 minutes a day, I will exercise 61 minutes. Plus do household chores. If it says to stay under 500 calories, I may keep my meal to 450 calories (though right now I'm working on establishing a baseline metabolism that is comfortable with portion-controlled meals, so 500 is where I'm at).

Each week, I will be able to cash in my rewards, IF I have reached a minimum of $25 which means I'll have to have at least 5 days of clean eating and 5 days of exercise. I can do what I like with the money; I'll treat myself to a full priced DVD, a manicure, books from Amazon, a massage, or a fun outfit! I also get one cheat meal a week because I need to keep my social life alive and going out to eat with a friend is where it's at right now!

In 14 weeks I'll be taking the vacation of a lifetime. I really want to be ready for that; I want to be happy and self-confident and look attractive in my photos. It's ironic that I look back at photos from 12 pounds ago, when I thought I still needed to lose more weight, and now I think, "Girl, you were beautiful there!" I'm looking for that woman and I know I'm going to find her.

Here's to renewed health!