Brown Pants and Wine Red Shoes

So life happened. Usually in the past, when life happened, weight also happened and I would gain 10 or 15 pounds. Except this time, things were different. This time my heart was content and once I'd learned how to manage all the various eating occasions in a healthy way, I began to see the pounds drop.

My mother told me the other day that we need to learn how to eat healthy because life will always throw us loops. She knows I'm a stress eater and that I reach for the carbs and the sugar and the chocolate when life gets rough. Here, those 3 cardinal sins are entirely too accessible which makes the struggle twice as hard. But I'm learning something. . .when my heart is full my stomach is full also.

Now I eat to satisfy hunger or to enjoy a social event with friends but the need to satisfy a deep ache in my heart has disappeared. Portion control is possible, self-control is possible, and food is something that provides nutrition rather than emotional satisfaction. I didn't know this was possible. I thought I would always struggle with my weight but one thing I am proud to say is that I never gave up struggling. I kept fighting because I still had hope that something could change.

I'm going to be completely transparent and say that while the majority of the time I eat for healthy reasons, there are still occasions when life just gets to be a bit too much and I'm not able to process it with a friend or family member right in that moment. Then I give myself permission to indulge but it's only for a meal or a day. Never for weeks on end like before.

And it's working. I'm losing weight! Everyone notices and encourages me, which is motivation to keep the trend going. My clothes are getting too big and my body is taking on a more natural shape rather than the box-car shape I had before. I feel better about myself and I'm excitedly looking forward to going home in a couple of months and trying on old clothes that I'd packed away not knowing if I'd ever fit into them again.

Nearly a year ago I wrote my last entry on this blog. I was disappointed because my weight had crept up once more to my all-time high that I'd battled several years ago. I made resolutions to live a healthier life but I knew that change was about to enter my life and I worried that trying to cope with a new job, new culture, new friends, and leaving home long-term for the first time would wreak havoc with those resolutions. I had hope but I didn't know if I'd have the capability to carry through.

Now here I am, about to enter 2017, and I am proud to say that I'm accomplishing my goal with God's help. It isn't easy. There are days I want to live on bread and cake and manaeesh and I could, if I wanted, and no one would fault me for it. There are days my body refuses to walk one more step but my mind insists I must reach for the 10,000 step mark. Each day, though, marches by whether or not I make healthy life decisions. So I'm pleased that God has given me the ability to stick to it and I'm excited to see how He continues to help me in the new year.