Which key is it?

I had hoped it wouldn't come back to this. Successfully managing to keep off about 5-8 pounds, but the rest of the 22+ have returned. I get frustrated because I wonder if I will ever manage to drop to that magical weight and be able to keep it there. Read about all-or-nothing thinking today in The Lost Art of Thinking and realized that there is where one of my challenges lie. I had just decided not to eat vegenaise again. I've done that before, then I've binged on it, and then I'm right back to where I started. It's hard for me to set realistic goals; in life as well as in weight loss I tend to aim for an "A" grade and anything less than that means that I'm less than also.

This is going to be hard, but this week I am going to restrict myself to 30 minutes of exercise every day. I'm doing it for a purpose; I want to be able to sustain it and I want to enjoy it/look forward to it. I will also do my best to eat oatmeal for breakfast and an orange every night for supper.

I'm turning 35 this year, in just over 6 months. I would like to reach a weight that makes me smile, both when I reach that milestone birthday and when I reach for my graduate diploma. I feel sad because I think it's not possible, I can't keep up a regime of oatmeal breakfasts, no suppers, no sugar, and no oil for long. Tonight though, I want to commit to myself that I will consider this goal as important as my goal of graduating with a 4.0 GPA (4 classes away from that!). I would like to dedicate time, persistence, and encouragement to my goal of a healthier me.

I recognize that the biggest struggle is not inside the doors of my refrigerator or the size of my plate. It is within me. When I can learn to be kind to myself and to translate that kindness into health instead of numbing foods, then I shall have unlocked the key to success.