The weight goes up; the weight goes down. Eating out sabotages my efforts; eating in gives me free rein to snack and nibble. Tonight I was hungry. I'd had my usual soy yoghurt with ground flaxmeal and wholewheat cinnamon roll for breakfast, a plate of brown jasmine rice with collard greens and a tofu/spinach scramble for lunch along with a piece of fudge for dessert, and for supper a gluten-free burrito with half a tomato and a hearty serving of stir-fry. Everything was tasty but I didn't feel full. I'm used to feeling stuffed.
So I ate some more. I had two mini cracker snack packs, half a pawpaw, and a wholewheat pita bread with half an avocado and fresh mint leaves. Then I was happy. I think I need that feeling of satiety that comes from eating something with fat in it, which I was missing for supper.
At first I was upset with myself for eating so much for supper. Then I thought about it logically. I was low on the calorie-end of things so it was okay to eat a little more. The extra part of my supper was primarily composed of healthy foods (whole grains, herbs, fruit). I did great overall today with my general intake of food.
So instead of being upset with myself, I choose to be happy that I'm on the path to healthier food choices! I think it helps that I've chosen not to purchase snack foods so I don't have those to fall back on when I am feeling like eating for emotional reasons. My snack packs now consist of healthy trail mix instead of Twix bars. Wahoo!!! I think maybe. . .it's finally starting to click.
Oh, side note, I watched That Sugar Film yesterday. After I've finished eating the yoghurts I bought cheap at Grocery Outlet, I'm going to cut down my sugar intake. I think that also leads to a feeling to not being full.
Monday, October 19, 2015
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Eat This, Not That
I went shopping on Sunday for convenience foods. It went against my frugal "religion" yet I knew I had to try it out to see if it would help me in eating healthier. My biggest excuse in not eating healthy is that it takes too much time and I don't have that much time. In reality, if I spent an hour less on Facebook every day, I could use it to prep grab-and-go meals for the next day, but it's my escape mechanism for now. Hence, to prevent food from being an escape mechanism also, I decided to invest some of my hard-earned $ into buying packaged foods.
I grew up in a household where cakes were lovingly created from flour, sugar, eggs, milk, and fresh fruits (unless we bought one from the local bakery). We did not know that things such as cake mixes existed and when a college friend asked if I'd like to bake a cake for our choir director and she showed up at my house the next day with a cardboard box, I looked curiously at her, wondering how that was supposed to produce a cake. Miraculously, it did, but to this day I bake from scratch. It shows care for the other person and saves money too.
In addition to baking, we ate simple foods. My mother wasn't too keen on cooking, so when we left Africa and our house-boy/personal chef behind, she prepared meals that didn't require too much effort yet still provided growing children with nutrition. A familiar staple was boiled green beans and potatoes with a brown gravy and applesauce. Or we'd have macaroni and tomato sauce or rice and yellow lentils. One or two ingredient meals that filled our bellies.
As a teenager, I learned to cook for my nutrition class in homeschool and quickly found I enjoyed it. My mother happily handed over the apron and cutting board and I began to experiment with food. My younger brother's food allergies challenged me to create tasty substitutes, such as beet sauce for spaghetti (not a hit), and taught me sensitivity to people with different dietary needs. My diverse ethnic heritage provided me with an abundance of cuisines to draw from and I became adept at reproducing favourite dishes. Tabbouleh joined koushari, samosas, fresh rolls, bryani, garlic baby bok choy, trifle, and more on our family table.
Then life happened, I was working, and I had less time or interest in preparing fun foods. Now I grabbed the easy carbs, mostly bread, added a thick layer of fat, mostly vegenaise or margarine, and my meals were ready. There were fewer fruit-rich grain breakfasts and stir-fry veggie-heavy dinners. I needed comfort foods instead of finding comfort in preparing the foods.
So, while I recognized my life's trend had changed, I also knew I had to be proactive about being healthy in this stage of life. This was why I found myself wandering Costco, Whole Foods, and Trader Joe's aisles in search of foods that would provide the nutrition my body craved in the speed of time my mind demanded. I cringed as I paid $39 for gluten-free burritos but then reminded myself that it was two week's worth and it was cheaper than a diet plan.
I headed home with staples and new foods, some which have been a success and others which have failed. Unsweetened almond milk from Grocery Outlet: fail. It was too thick which made me think it had gone off (it hasn't, but I'm not convinced, so it's sitting in the fridge, waiting to go bad.) Amy's Kitchen Lentil soup (low sodium): win. Huge win. It comes in a non-BPA lined can, is just 180 calories, and the lentils are nice and soft (not crunchy like some soups are). I bought a box of soups at Costco and it cost me a little under $1.50 per can. With a side salad or a veggie stir-fry (both can be bought as convenience foods also), it's a perfect supper that fills me up and is heavy on the recommended healthy carbs and veggies.
Interestingly enough, I'm finding now that I have time to dedicate to food prep after all. I grind flaxseed meal to add to my soy yogurt in the morning (it keeps my blood sugar level for at least 4 hours). I chop up veggies for a quick salad. I make fresh rolls for a light meal. Even though it was hard to shell out money for foods I could make but wasn't, I think it was a wise decision. It helped push me in a positive food choice direction and gave me support so when I was hungry, I could grab a tasty burrito instead of a handful of chips.
I was reading old diary entries from 2009. I'd carefully chronicled each meal for about a month, most of them consisting of cookies, cheese sticks, white bread, vegenaise, and the occasional vegetable here and there. There had been some weight loss but it fluctuated madly and made me frustrated. I was convinced, though, that since I was counting calories I would lose weight. Now, 6 years later, I'm at the same weight I was then and, according to my patient CalorieCount weight log, have seen that weight and gone up and down in about a 16-pound range. It isn't a healthy way to live. In 2009, I was so excited. I was going to lose a pound a week and in 31 weeks, just in time for my 30th birthday, I was going to reach my target goal: the top range for my height. Sadly, I never saw that number.
I'm not going to say that this time I shall be successful. I've found that when I loudly proclaim that in the past, I've fallen the heaviest on my face. I am going to say that this time I want to persist, I want to do all I can to support my effort, and I'm thankful for the opportunity to focus on my health. I believe God wants me to have a healthy body and I believe He will give me the support I need if I ask Him for it. I also recognize that it isn't a simple or easy process. It's kind of like life. There are things I need to change in myself to be a better person and it isn't easy to do so. I need to be kinder and less impatient. This is something I may have to work on my whole life. So I want to humbly ask God for help, both to be kind and to be healthy, and together work on achieving that goal.
Here's to health.
I grew up in a household where cakes were lovingly created from flour, sugar, eggs, milk, and fresh fruits (unless we bought one from the local bakery). We did not know that things such as cake mixes existed and when a college friend asked if I'd like to bake a cake for our choir director and she showed up at my house the next day with a cardboard box, I looked curiously at her, wondering how that was supposed to produce a cake. Miraculously, it did, but to this day I bake from scratch. It shows care for the other person and saves money too.
In addition to baking, we ate simple foods. My mother wasn't too keen on cooking, so when we left Africa and our house-boy/personal chef behind, she prepared meals that didn't require too much effort yet still provided growing children with nutrition. A familiar staple was boiled green beans and potatoes with a brown gravy and applesauce. Or we'd have macaroni and tomato sauce or rice and yellow lentils. One or two ingredient meals that filled our bellies.
As a teenager, I learned to cook for my nutrition class in homeschool and quickly found I enjoyed it. My mother happily handed over the apron and cutting board and I began to experiment with food. My younger brother's food allergies challenged me to create tasty substitutes, such as beet sauce for spaghetti (not a hit), and taught me sensitivity to people with different dietary needs. My diverse ethnic heritage provided me with an abundance of cuisines to draw from and I became adept at reproducing favourite dishes. Tabbouleh joined koushari, samosas, fresh rolls, bryani, garlic baby bok choy, trifle, and more on our family table.
Then life happened, I was working, and I had less time or interest in preparing fun foods. Now I grabbed the easy carbs, mostly bread, added a thick layer of fat, mostly vegenaise or margarine, and my meals were ready. There were fewer fruit-rich grain breakfasts and stir-fry veggie-heavy dinners. I needed comfort foods instead of finding comfort in preparing the foods.
So, while I recognized my life's trend had changed, I also knew I had to be proactive about being healthy in this stage of life. This was why I found myself wandering Costco, Whole Foods, and Trader Joe's aisles in search of foods that would provide the nutrition my body craved in the speed of time my mind demanded. I cringed as I paid $39 for gluten-free burritos but then reminded myself that it was two week's worth and it was cheaper than a diet plan.
I headed home with staples and new foods, some which have been a success and others which have failed. Unsweetened almond milk from Grocery Outlet: fail. It was too thick which made me think it had gone off (it hasn't, but I'm not convinced, so it's sitting in the fridge, waiting to go bad.) Amy's Kitchen Lentil soup (low sodium): win. Huge win. It comes in a non-BPA lined can, is just 180 calories, and the lentils are nice and soft (not crunchy like some soups are). I bought a box of soups at Costco and it cost me a little under $1.50 per can. With a side salad or a veggie stir-fry (both can be bought as convenience foods also), it's a perfect supper that fills me up and is heavy on the recommended healthy carbs and veggies.
Interestingly enough, I'm finding now that I have time to dedicate to food prep after all. I grind flaxseed meal to add to my soy yogurt in the morning (it keeps my blood sugar level for at least 4 hours). I chop up veggies for a quick salad. I make fresh rolls for a light meal. Even though it was hard to shell out money for foods I could make but wasn't, I think it was a wise decision. It helped push me in a positive food choice direction and gave me support so when I was hungry, I could grab a tasty burrito instead of a handful of chips.
I was reading old diary entries from 2009. I'd carefully chronicled each meal for about a month, most of them consisting of cookies, cheese sticks, white bread, vegenaise, and the occasional vegetable here and there. There had been some weight loss but it fluctuated madly and made me frustrated. I was convinced, though, that since I was counting calories I would lose weight. Now, 6 years later, I'm at the same weight I was then and, according to my patient CalorieCount weight log, have seen that weight and gone up and down in about a 16-pound range. It isn't a healthy way to live. In 2009, I was so excited. I was going to lose a pound a week and in 31 weeks, just in time for my 30th birthday, I was going to reach my target goal: the top range for my height. Sadly, I never saw that number.
I'm not going to say that this time I shall be successful. I've found that when I loudly proclaim that in the past, I've fallen the heaviest on my face. I am going to say that this time I want to persist, I want to do all I can to support my effort, and I'm thankful for the opportunity to focus on my health. I believe God wants me to have a healthy body and I believe He will give me the support I need if I ask Him for it. I also recognize that it isn't a simple or easy process. It's kind of like life. There are things I need to change in myself to be a better person and it isn't easy to do so. I need to be kinder and less impatient. This is something I may have to work on my whole life. So I want to humbly ask God for help, both to be kind and to be healthy, and together work on achieving that goal.
Here's to health.
Monday, October 5, 2015
Of Chickpeas and Voices
Trying to live healthy. A hummus-cucumber sandwich for breakfast, whole-wheat pasta with chickpea alfredo-type sauce and steamed broccoli for lunch with a cookie for dessert, a large salad with olives/sunflower seeds/corn for supper. No snacks, plenty of water. Tomorrow I will wake up early enough to exercise.
In all honesty, I'm tired (not enough sleep over the weekend) and grumpy because I want to eat carbs in the evening. I want bread. If I could eat bread three times a day I would be happy. My mom would tell me that means I'm addicted to carbs. Maybe I am, or maybe it's just that they fill my stomach and keep it from grumbling and making me feel horrible whenever I try to eat healthier.
I think this is the hardest part of it all--of healthy living. It's getting past the voice in my head that says, "You're miserable, this could end very quickly if you exercised your free will and buttered up a slice of bread with lots of jam or put a slice of your favourite vegan cheese on a sandwich with lots of vegenaise. You deserve it. . ." The voice that calls for longevity, fitting into my skirts and pants and cute dresses again, feeling good about myself, and knowing I'm doing the right thing? That voice is the softest of whispers right now. . .
In all honesty, I'm tired (not enough sleep over the weekend) and grumpy because I want to eat carbs in the evening. I want bread. If I could eat bread three times a day I would be happy. My mom would tell me that means I'm addicted to carbs. Maybe I am, or maybe it's just that they fill my stomach and keep it from grumbling and making me feel horrible whenever I try to eat healthier.
I think this is the hardest part of it all--of healthy living. It's getting past the voice in my head that says, "You're miserable, this could end very quickly if you exercised your free will and buttered up a slice of bread with lots of jam or put a slice of your favourite vegan cheese on a sandwich with lots of vegenaise. You deserve it. . ." The voice that calls for longevity, fitting into my skirts and pants and cute dresses again, feeling good about myself, and knowing I'm doing the right thing? That voice is the softest of whispers right now. . .
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